Monday, January 30, 2012

Ya Never Know

Funny how a day can take a complete 180 turn.

The fiance and I had a successful albeit sopping hike up to Oyster Dome in continual rain. I discovered a hole in the sole of my boots that left me tromping in water for half the hike. We soldiered on and made it up to the lookout (it happened to be completed obscured by fog but it still counts!) and enjoyed a nice drive home and rewarding steamy shower.

Later the evening the day took a different turn. Discussing the website design for my doula biz I started getting overwhelmed and before you know it I was in a full-on EPISODE.

The evening involved some self-harming attempts, a long drive in the wee hours of the morning to calm me down, and then finally a hard night's sleep that left me in bed until this afternoon. Quite a different story from the morning's triumph.

Another day in the life of a depressive person.

Monday, January 23, 2012

One of those moments...

The fiance and I were sitting in the living room plucking away at our respective keyboards when his Pandora playlist whipped out this memorable diddy by Garth Brooks (I pasted in the lyrics from after a competitors website chased me off with obnoxious ads and clicker-traps, wanted to save readers the hassle if they wanted the lyrics!):

I Got Friends in Low Places

Blame it all on my roots,
I showed up in boots,
And ruined your black tie affair.

The last one to know,
The last one to show,
I was the last one you tought you'd see there.

And I saw a surprise,
And the fear in his eyes,
When I took his glass of champange,

I toasted you,
Said honey we may be through,
But you'll never hear me complain,

'Cause I got friends in low places,
Where the Whiskey drowns,
And the Beer chases my blues away,
But I'll be okay,
Now I'm not big on social graces,
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis,
Oh I got friends,
In low places.

I guess I was wrong I just don't belong
but then I've been there before, everything's alright
I'll just say goodnight and I'll show myself to the door
Hey I didn't mean to cause a big scene just give me an 
hour and then, I'll be as high as that Ivory Tower and you'll
never know,


I guess I was wrong I just don't belong
but then I've been there before, everythings alright
I'll just say goodnight and I'll show myself to the door
Hey I didn't mean to cause a big scene just wait 'til I finish this glass
Then, sweet little lady I'll head back to the bar (haha) and you can kiss my ass


Anyways-the song is a hoot but the commentary from the fiance was even better. 

We both tapped our toes and said we liked the song and I said, "Is it just me or do you have dreams about one of your exes doing that to you?" He answered with a definitive "no" and I was puzzled. I assumed that the song's wide appeal was because it played to the discomforts of millions related to their exes-I WAS WRONG. 

After some prodding, the fiance shared with me why he liked the song and why he didn't worry about his exes showing up at his wedding/shower/ etc. 

"I don't worry about my exes doing something like that-but I like the song because I can see myself doin' that. It's a man's man song!." 

I had a good laugh at that one :o)

The "REAL" Mystery

For a couple years I have been wondering about this logo:

I most often recognize it on frozen pizza boxes or "off-brand" or local brand dairy products like butter and cheese. Most recently I saw this logo on some cottage cheese that I was considering over a slightly higher-priced competitor. I ended up buying the cheaper cottage cheese when I realized the ingredients were the same and I was saving money.

The logo made me nervous. For some reason I have been under the impression that this logo is a misleading scam peddling faux-hydrogenated cheese as "REAL" dairy. I think I may have heard something derogatory about the seal years ago and hung onto to some snippet out of context. Maybe I've watched too many documentaries-but thanks to those documentaries I'm finally learning about this mysterious logo!

The "REAL Seal" is actually managed through Dairy Management Inc. which includes these various affiliates: American Dairy Association, National Dairy Council, and US Dairy Export Council. Interestingly the DMI site includes this tagline, "DMI helps build demand for dairy on behalf of dairy producers and is dedicated to the success of the dairy industry."

The seal may represent products that have followed certain requirements to be approved as "real" dairy the seal is a tool of a private organization working for the success of the dairy industry. Don't get me wrong-I love me some dairy. I've made deals with various friends that if they ever conquer the world I'll become "Dairy Queen" and run their dairy functions for them. I think pushin' dairy is a good thing, I just wonder where the government is when it comes to monitoring dairy product quality?

Apparently the FDA and USDA has some say on what "quality" means, but it is subjective. Kinda sad hat artificial flavors and preservatives have become a part of "quality" food.

I'm not the only one talkin' bout it!

I'm no longer afraid of the REAL seal, but I'll stick to my label reading rather than depend on a private company's logo. I don't think DMI is out to sucker anyone and I know that the feds don't necessarily keep the masses best interests at heart, but I'm certainly curious about federal regulations and dairy product quality control. So far my internet perusing have shown federal regulations concerning pasteurization and not necessarily the quality of dairy products.

You may think, "so, what's the big stink?" Just read a few labels and see what's really in your "food," it can be surprised what is considered "natural" or "wholesome" in today's market. Just think about "fruit flavored beverages" marketed as fruit juice?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Why yes-it is snowing!

Keep truckin' lit'l cone!

Our little pinesnowcone is holding in there with this snowstorm. I'll admit it's a little weird to be attached to a single cone but since I've lived here I've been checking in on the tree right outside our apartment. Since the first cone perished this summer I've been watching this little cone as the new mascot of our home.

Speaking of mascots-the fiance and I got busy on the balcony this afternoon *in a non-naughty way!*

Lucky I grabbed this snapshot, because less than five minutes later our little buddy had some dental damage occur....

So we have a guardian beaver with rusted bucket hat perched on our balcony! 

In other news Millie's stocks aren't looking so good...

She was a little distraught this afternoon as she surfed the web :o)

Saturday, January 14, 2012


Imagine this. You are sitting at home with your honey enjoying a silly TV show and a cup of hot delicious beverage while a batch of homemade brownies bakes in the oven and inundates your senses with luscious chocolate-y-ness.

Then you smell something else. Something bad. Something nasty and burning.

"Are the neighbors smoking? No-it's not that... Is something burning? Did we unplug the coffee? Something caught in the oven?"

Nothing adds up.

The smell hits your nose hard and you are driven to distraction and detection. Following your sniffer you're led into the kitchen where your schnoz sniffs over the wax warmer and the oven and the microwave and then toward the percolator.

You glance at the dishwasher and feel hot steam leaking onto your belly. AH-FREAKIN-HA!

Before you can lock-eyes on the scene of olfactory disgrace the steam billows forward and clouds your vision-you call your fiance, "It's here! What melted!? Come see, I can't see!"

But you already know-it's the gosh darn measuring spoon that has hopped the utensil bin hundreds of times before. The one of two remaining measuring spoons that has survived the dishwasher, manual use, and garbage disposal over the past few years. That unlucky and inconvenient 1-1/2 tsp measuring spoon.

It went out with a *sizzle* and a wham-bang-stink.

And now we are left with the 1/4 teaspoon as our only wee measuring device.


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A Day of Whoops

The first whoops of the day involved the laundry. After our YMCA workout Monday I had tossed my jacket into the wash-with the headphones in the front pocket. So my headphones went through the wash and came out a gnarled-albeit clean-ball of wires. 

I chuckled at the mishap even though I was a bit disappointed. I figured it would be a good story and it was pretty funny to see that come through the laundry. 

But my day had a "topper" to that headphone laundering business.


I was cleaning out some cabinets and had tossed some old travel sized lotions on the floor to throw away. You could probably guess what happened next....

What you might not imagine is the extent of the damage-I sure couldn't! That little bottle ejected lotion over the couch and up the wall nearly six feet up!

Not to mention over Iroh's back end! Surprisingly he stayed put until I washed the lotion off of em.

That splotch above the white frame is lotion. Yep. It took me a good bit to wipe everything up and the scent lingered for hours.


Sunday, January 8, 2012

Doula Training

I am having a blast at doula class! Learning a ton and having fun doing it as well as enjoying the company of lots of amazing women with amazing stories.

I shared some personal revelations on my midwifery blog if ya wanna check it out-look at my profile and visit the other blog!

Thursday, January 5, 2012


I just found out that Willow (one of my fav's from ISO) was adopted and taken into a good home. She was 11 or 12 years old and I bit concerned that her senior status wouldn't get her scooped up, but her looks and charms did!

I'm so happy she's taken care of :o) She was the first cat I asked my fiance if I could bring home haha Certainly not the last! Thank goodness we don't have more room, we'd be sleeping on the floor to make room for the cats on the bed!

In other news-the fiance and I started up at the YMCA this morning. It was a little precarious wandering about before the sun got up but in the end I really enjoyed it and the luv makes a great workout partner.

Now-onto PAWS for more misadventures, cuddles, and POOP!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

28 Days

I have heard/seen/recalled this movie for years but never bothered to watch it. I figured-alcoholics? rehab? not the kind of movie I want to watch....

Then the fiance picked it for our movie tonight and I was pleasantly surprised!

Not only was the movie well formed, well acted, moving and funny-it was surprisingly relevant to me as a depressed person. In a lot of ways an addiction problem is like depression (or vice versa).

Both issues can be misunderstood as simply issues of willpower and both diseases alter your perceived personality and dramatically affect your social/family life and functional capacity. Both are socially rejected and stigmatized and both make their victims feel disabled and unable to function in everyday life. Both drench people in shame.

The characters' addictions scared them in ways that my depression scares me-I recognize my disease as a problem to confront but am afraid that it will get the best of me and just like addicts I go through periods of doubt and fear that are overwhelming and consuming.

I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed 28 Days and how much I related to the film, even though I'm not an addict. Check it out if you haven't already-it even features one of my favorite supporting actresses-Elizabeth Perkins!

Farewell 2011

So much for writing more in December posts! Guess that ship has sailed!

January kind of snuck up on me. After spending Christmas with the folks and work tapering off and ending I haven't had much structure-so a week of sleeping in and milling about and then a zippity-do-da New Year's celebration and here I am in 2012!

Resolutions, you ask? Bah! Not here. I make little resolutions daily all year long trying to keep myself on track and that only sometimes works out, so I don't bother setting myself up for mass failure with one big resolution :oP

2012 is important though. This weekend I get to start my doula training, the fiance and I have a wedding to plan and a marriage to commence, we get to honeymoon and I'll have my first holiday season as a married lady! Big changes in 2012 (and no, that isn't a jab at Obama).

2011 was a good year-and a rocky year. I had the worst relapse of my depression ever and yet I'm still engaged! Anyone with depression wonders how their loved ones manage to stick around through it all-and my fiance has some serious sticking power after this last relapse-woowhee does he stick!

Not only did I find the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, I found a vocation that can be one of my lifelong passions. Becoming a doula in 2012 is just the first step in my path toward becoming a midwife and helping more mothers and babies!

So, farewell 2011. It was good and I may miss you a little here and there, but I am sure happy to be here in 2012. More good times ahead :o)