Tuesday, December 9, 2014

I Said "No!"

Today I left work at ye olde ornaments gig before I hit the wall and got too uncomfortable or distressed. It definitely felt odd and I was pressured to stay and do more work or take work home with but I made my decision and stuck to it!

It's put me in a weird mood, a mixture of pride and "stickin it to the man" with guilt and anxiety. The hubbo says being pregnant has made me stronger (and sassier) and he likes seeing me stick up for myself.

Even though I left "early" I still spent quite a bit of my afternoon glued to a heating pad and reclining. My lower back and round ligaments have been achy and I haven't been sleeping as much as I would like. I'm hoping to stick with my self-care goals and prevent further fatigue and physical/mental breakdowns by cutting back on my ornament time and trying to be more active. I may not be going for hour-long walks or rigorous hikes any time soon, but a bit of time outdoors certainly helps my mood and resilience.

Considering I've had several breakdowns/episodes/backslides already related to ornaments and the extra stress or overworking, I think it's time I put my foot down and set some more serious limits. There's really only 2 weeks left or ornament season, but I figure late is better than never and I feel like it's a worthwhile endeavor.

In other news, my gestational diabetes screen came back negative (WOO HOO!) but my iron is low and I have to take more supplements (BOO!). It was a bit upsetting, one more straw on this camel's back ya know, but I think once I establish a routine with my meals and supplements I'll be able to move on and not be so overwhelmed.

There are so many things to worry about and do during pregnancy the constant suggestions and "it's also a good idea to do this" tips are just too much. Maybe it's because I'm so guilt-ridden and perfectionist that I try to do everything a person in authority suggests when it simply isn't realistic? I definitely feel more confident and better about myself when I simply write off some of the advice.

"That ain't gonna happen" or "I think not." A flash of shame and inferiority complex usually complicates my attempts at easing up on myself but I think letting go of perfection and that endless list of recommendations is the only way to maintain sanity!

So I may not be perfect, I may not "do it all," but I'll be good enough and that's good enough for me.

Especially if it keeps the full blown episodes and panic attacks at bay!  ;)

Bump shot below-we went for a hike at the Big Four Ice Caves. No, that ain't Violet Beauregarde turning into a blueberry, it's me!


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Be well, HBF