Tuesday, February 3, 2015

February is Finally Here

While I realize that Baby could arrive as late as the first week of March, it really feels like this is the month! 

I haven't had any drastic changes in symptoms but feel the "lightning crotch" zings and zangs, pelvic pressure, light cramps and back pain everyday. Now that I'm here in the final countdown I find myself wobbling between utter calm and walking on eggshells waiting for any sign of labor. It's exciting and sensing the end makes me reflect on the pregnancy as a whole.

Time really does fly when you're pregnant. It seems like the hubbo and I were just talking about babies and making plans and here we are about to experience the realization of all those hypotheticals! No more episodes of baby fever (though I have had fits of hysterical crying for other reasons), no more wondering how I'll cope with the next bout of raging hormones, instead I'm wondering how I'll cope with an infant.

The hubster is getting more and more excited to meet baby whereas I feel nervous. Strangely, I feel most nervous about meeting baby and not the birth. I suppose having been at several births makes me confident in the process and that I'll make it through somehow but meeting baby is another matter. It feels like the first day of school and I'm not sure if I'll make friends. I never thought I would worry about bonding with my baby but here I am, about to meet my baby and wondering if we'll like each other!

I'm also worried about changing from my body taking care of Baby from the inside to taking care of Baby on the outside, in the "real world." I don't have much experience with babies but I do know it's exhausting and having had days with depressive episodes where taking a shower is a monumental task, I can't help but worry about keeping up with a child.

I don't know exactly how things will work out but I feel like my worries are natural and normal. Being pregnant has made me realize how vast changes can take place almost without notice over a length of time. Even with the gradual changes over the last several months I've had days where I felt overwhelmed but then somehow better days came when I adjusted to the new challenges and regained a sense of "normal" and "okay."

Even if I'm a little worried about bonding with baby and tackling motherhood, I think it'll be okay and I hope I can maintain that belief when the going gets rough, or at the very least "just keep swimming" as Dori would say.

Only time will tell what this new phase holds in store, and only time will tell when I'm actually going to pop and get to meet my baby! 

Tick tock....

:)


2 comments:

  1. Here is the only think I try to tell expectant mom's.

    You will love your child with a love so strong and so fierce that it cannot be explained in words. You think you know love now and you do but this is a whole new level that your love now cannot know. You will have no trouble bonding with your child. No trouble at all. In fact, you will love so much that it hurts and it will change everything. Please post as soon as you can after baby arrives. Even if it is just one word. Boy, Girl.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Birdie :) I will send off an easy email-to-post as soon as I can after baby arrives, even if it just one word!

    Hope you feel better, thank you for this comment, it really helped soothe me :)

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF