Tuesday, April 28, 2015

A Good Enough Weekend

This weekend went well enough. Definitely stressful and concerning but no major breaks!

I'm pretty convinced now that my mom and sister are thoroughly deluded about this pregnancy or doing an incredibly stellar job not letting their concerns show. My gut goes with the former though...

During a walk with my mom (I did a lot of listening, she did a lot of talking about my sister and the mutual friend controversy) she mentioned something about her and Dad talking about retirement and I blurted, "Ha! What retirement? There's a 50/50 chance my sister and the baby end up living with you guys!"

She was shocked. Probably a bit that I would speak my mind but mostly at the idea that my sister wouldn't be independent. She couldn't believe I thought that and didn't seem to think it was likely at all, breaking down the "game plan" which hinges entirely upon my sister getting welfare.

Welfare. As if WIC wasnt bad enough. The values we were raised with are being flouted right and left and my mother isnt even concerned one bit about things working out? Seems like major red flags to me... I'd said it's textbook delusion!

Anyways. The hubster was very supportive and we talked a lot about it all. Even got to talk with my friend too, a good sanity check! Talking with my mom on that walk I started to wonder if I was crazy for thinking my sister isn't stable and that the situation is precarious, Mom seemed to think my sister is fine. A rocky personality but overall very functional and capable of handling the challenge, yet I see her as barely capable of handling student life, which, let's face it, is pretty cozy and insulated as far as life goes! College campuses these days are adult daycares!

So.... Still processing. I think the sister drama is combined with shifting roles and relations from becoming a mother and it's made for some interesting few months! Feels like Im getting somewhere though, positive changes I think.

At the lake waiting to see if apartment fire alarm testing is done, been out walking with Baby for a good hour now... Nice to get out though. Funny how my old walk route is the same but lots of changes! Life always trudges on!

4 comments:

  1. Even if she does get welfare I doubt she will be able to care for herself and baby. Babies are very expensive! I am wondering if she is expecting loaner items from you?

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  2. I don't know much about welfare but my husband said the same thing, that welfare wouldn't cover everything, no way, no how! Not sure about loaner items, other than clothes what could I loan out? And if she has a girl, she's up a creek! My mother can only buy so much... well, who knows. If my parents end up supporting them, the money will get pulled from somewhere!

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  3. Loaner items like a bassinet and crib. Baby swing and change table. Car seats. You have a lot of stuff that she is likely expecting you to supply.

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  4. Ah. Bassy... I didn't realize how sentimental I was about our hand-me-down bassinet!

    If Baby stays in the high 90s for percentile he'll outgrow some items by then but I'm not sure how I feel about lending out certain things.... Like our baby swing, it's a pricey item!

    Ugh. Torn between feeling like a bad sister and feeling like I'm throwing myself under the bus. Good thing the hubby is great at saying NO, because I'm already feeling anxious and pressure.

    Eck. Hate all these ooky negative feelings around what should be joyous! Between the timing and the circumstances I'm not feeling very giving, throw in sibling rivalry and I feel like downright Grinchy!

    Guess we'll just have to see what gets asked for....

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Be well, HBF