Sunday, April 12, 2015

If Only

If only we could decide to change, flip a switch, and have the changes we'd like made stick. If only. Instead, I'm struggling with anxiety again-worrying about what people think and fretting over long lists of non-essential chores.

On top of the anxiety and fretting I feel frustrated with myself for not making the mental shift I want to make. Reminds me of when I was in labor mumbling "change, change, please change" angrily under my breath trying to force my cervix to dilate. Now I'm wanting my mind to change and I can't just whack it into the shape I want with a tire iron but I sure wish I could.

Been a rough few days. Really tired and Baby has been busy growing. I've been cranky and while my rib got popped back into place the muscles all around there are slow to heal up.

Still moving forward, still hanging in there, but not feeling chipper like a few days back.

Not to mention the chiro asked me about heartburn last week and I said, "Maybe a few incidents but nothing regular like when I was pregnant," but wouldn't ya know it, since he asked I've been feeling it more and more. Grr!

I think my mom coming up this Wednesday has got me anxious too. That and the sleep deprivation and the poor food choices and aching body are wearing me down. Just gotta take it one day at a time and try to take better care of myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF