Thursday, June 18, 2015

Little Engine That Could

I only vaguely remember the children's story "The Little Engine That Could" because that memory was overwritten by the memory of Damon Wayan's retelling of it in "Major Payne" many years ago. While my images of rosy cheeked train engines remain they are reliably interrupted by images of warfare of and "Bubba, ya ain't got no legs!" Not terrible, it always makes me giggle in a sick way, but there it is.

Today was a "just keep chuggin'" kinda day.

Last night I had a hard time sleeping and while I started to get anxious worrying about how the following day would go because of the lack of sleep, I let it go and did the best I could. I did manage to get the baby back into his bassinet instead of hogging my side of the bed and once the hubbo went to work there was enough room to sleep/nurse for the early morning BUT the babe peed a TON and wet through his diaper, two layers of clothes, and onto our sheet and foam topper. I don't think it went further than that, but it was quite the surprise for me this morning.

I felt myself getting overwhelmed and upset, I already had a  lot of laundry to work through with a half-sized laundry machine, but I accepted it, decided to just do what I could and stop worrying. I just chugged along doing this and that and making my way through my day as best I could and it worked. I'm not an image of relaxation but I ain't bottoming out, so I think that's pretty swell.

Still feeling tense, hoping to get out for a walk soon. The hubster and I have been pretty housebound since Monday with our free time going to quick, emergency shopping trips or errands at the old apartment. We still have some stuff there to move and the cats to take care of... Not looking forward to taking them to the shelter but I think it's best for all and that we'll feel better in the long run.

Iroh is such a fabulous cat. Even though we moved out and it's been so stressful he's still his chipper, old self. Whereas Millie has already got the wide-eyed, "who are you, foul creature?" look to her. The sad feelings will pass. I know it's a lot easier not having litter boxes and extra mouths to feed and water, just these past few days without the cats at the condo have been great-and no Iroh hair fluffs all over the carpet!

Baby is doing well. More easily distracted during feedings and we're struggling to buckle down and commit to a schedule (I'm terrible at establishing a schedule unless it's tied to TV programming) but he's learning to sleep in his crib and I think we're slowing transitioning to something of a new normal, just don't know what'll be like exactly yet.

Speaking of TV programming, I haven't had the TV and big computers here all week and it's been pretty nice. I'm hoping that I have the willpower to keep the electronics off once they are moved over and hooked up. The quiet "life noise" is more soothing than TV series I obsessively plow through or songs with lyrics I try to decode, all in all more work for my brain that I don't need and that stresses me out if even on a very small level.

That said I've still watched a few Price is Rights on the lappy and a "Comedian in Cars Getting Coffee." I ain't going total techphobic!

Well, time to wash the baby's tummy time mat. It's practically a slice of cheese now with all the spit ups he's managed to smear into it.

Also, a little note: Feel better Birdie :) but don't feel bad about feeling bad, math is a cruel nemesis for many of us and in my experience, very adept at poking and deflating a mood balloon when one is feeling vulnerable! Math + Math = #(*&^*!(!*(#$% squared or whatever. Hang in there, I hope you find your light again soon :)

1 comment:

  1. Ah, thank you so much, Hannah! I am still feeling overwhelmed and tired. I mostly just want to go to bed.


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Be well, HBF