I wrote that last entry and then wondered "Why am I feeling so low now? I thought I felt better this morning despite last night?" Then I remembered that I had come home from my walk and errands to find a FB of a friend with her friend doing a mommy meet up and I had hung out with them before but wasn't invited again. It hurt. I feel like I will never find friends.
So that sucks, but I am glad that I realized what was making me feel so bad. Now I don't have to be so afraid that the black dog is coming, I have a reason to be sad! Now the trick is processing and moving on :)