Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Argh. A break would be nice.

Give a gal a break. I'm not just talking a break from Baby, I'm sure that would be helpful, but I'd rather have a break from my warped, messed up self. I'd like to have a day where I can make it through without wanting to self harm, being able to take care of my child as well as I'd like, eating and sleeping in a healthy fashion.

That's the break that I want. That's the Publisher's Clearing House prize, The Price is Right showcase, the lotto jackpot that I wish to win.

It won't happen. There is no ticket I can buy, there is no luck involved. It's a slow grind, tooth and nail, a fight to get those days.

I just have to keep believing that someday I can make it there.

And this is where the hubbo starts singing "Don't Stop Believin'."


  1. I get this. I was just sitting here thinking thoughts along the same lines. I don't know what life looks like without depression and anxiety. The last few days have been bad and it all feels so hopeless. Sleep is the only escape.

  2. Love me my sleep. I've always been called "a sleeper" and now I look back on my earlier years and think "no wonder! I was running away!"

    Also been retreating into books on tape lately, well, this romance series I've listened to more times than I can count. The familiar characters and scenes make it easy to zone out quickly...

    I guess it helps me appreciate those simple respites when living in/with myself is so hard sometimes. Still, it's hard to stay hopeful or thrive when your whole being is the war zone you seek respite from. Hang in there :)

    Sorry you feel down. I wonder if we'll have the option to use virtual reality to take a break from sick selves some time in the future, though I could see that becoming addicting like online personas or games. Though, if used properly it could be quite therapeutic!


Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF