Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Argh. A break would be nice.

Give a gal a break. I'm not just talking a break from Baby, I'm sure that would be helpful, but I'd rather have a break from my warped, messed up self. I'd like to have a day where I can make it through without wanting to self harm, being able to take care of my child as well as I'd like, eating and sleeping in a healthy fashion.

That's the break that I want. That's the Publisher's Clearing House prize, The Price is Right showcase, the lotto jackpot that I wish to win.

It won't happen. There is no ticket I can buy, there is no luck involved. It's a slow grind, tooth and nail, a fight to get those days.

I just have to keep believing that someday I can make it there.

And this is where the hubbo starts singing "Don't Stop Believin'."

2 comments:

  1. I get this. I was just sitting here thinking thoughts along the same lines. I don't know what life looks like without depression and anxiety. The last few days have been bad and it all feels so hopeless. Sleep is the only escape.

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  2. Love me my sleep. I've always been called "a sleeper" and now I look back on my earlier years and think "no wonder! I was running away!"

    Also been retreating into books on tape lately, well, this romance series I've listened to more times than I can count. The familiar characters and scenes make it easy to zone out quickly...

    I guess it helps me appreciate those simple respites when living in/with myself is so hard sometimes. Still, it's hard to stay hopeful or thrive when your whole being is the war zone you seek respite from. Hang in there :)

    Sorry you feel down. I wonder if we'll have the option to use virtual reality to take a break from sick selves some time in the future, though I could see that becoming addicting like online personas or games. Though, if used properly it could be quite therapeutic!

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF