Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Hold It, Hold It

Last night was rough, not a total bottoming out but rough. 

The hubster and I are both overtired and starting to fray. Last night I became concerned with my postpartum recovery and I had a hard time expressing my feelings. He was having a hard time communicating with me about his needs or offering me support without me biting his head off. We ended up eating ice cream and sort of rebooting the evening.

I have started to wonder if everything is settling back into the right places (physically). I hate to use the word prolapse but I wonder if that might be apt. I've been having a unique discomfort the last several weeks and I don't think things feel quite right. It's not a constant issue, it seems to come and go, but I think I need to get it all checked out and the idea of just one more problemo feels overwhelming.

The hubster is keeping his cool about it all. He's not entirely sure what the situation is or what it feels like but he's very much "one thing at a time, things will sorted out eventually, little by little." I, on the other hand, overthink things. I start to think of the pelvic health issue but then begin to simultaneously think of all the things that are stressing me all at once and collapse under the weight. That said, I am gaining a little bit of traction and realizing that my mind is working against me and while I can't fully put on the breaks, I think just that bit of awareness is a good step.

So. I'm trying to hang tight, trying to remain steady and "hold it, hold it" until my mood rebounds. I don't want to buckle under the pressure, I just want to hold steady, not lose any ground, take some time and then get back to it when I feel better.

By "back to it" I mean getting better and getting back on top of things... Keeping the house clean and taking care of myself and Baby. It seems like so little and so much at once.

Baby steps. 

1 comment:

  1. Yes. Having a baby messes things up down there. And a 10 pound baby did not help the situation. I have had to have surgery but things have fallen back. Just last week I found an app to remind me to do my kegals because I am peeing myself... a LOT. Talk to your midwife. And do kegals.

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Be well, HBF