Yesterday was exhausting. I heeded my note, or so I thought, and tried to take it easy while getting done what I had to get done, but still came out of the day barely able to keep my head up. I think my body was weaker from the cold than I thought.
Started off with a couple errands (drive-thru pharmacy for the new thyroid med, new type and new dose and a pick up at the library, I parallel parked like a boss, driving a subcompact may have helped) and then I met up with a mom for a "moms" walk. We had walked together twice before, she has two older sons, twins, and a 4 month going on 5 month old like Baby. I enjoyed our walk, only brief flares of social anxiety!
After that was nurse the baby so we could get home in one piece before starting laundry, taking a shower, and getting dressed before my mom arrived for an afternoon visit. I didn't do all the cleaning that my manic mind had initially connived but I was a little wound up for her visit.
It was a little awkward. I think I've worked up a decent boundary and some distance since we last saw each other and it was weird feeling so.... unconcerned. The hubbo came home from work a bit early with pizza to spare me too much time alone with her and hopefully curtail any potential "we need to talks" that she may have had in mind. Not ready for that! My boundaries are little stone garden walls, not quite barricades!
My hubby said that things were a little awkward but not too bad, so I'll go by his 3rd party view. I think what was missing was the highly charged emotional conversations where I would normally take the bait and become invested in the drama, I just didn't care. I didn't want to talk about my sister or her baby daddy or what my dad does wrong. I just left a lot of that on the table or said something diffusing.
So. It was different and felt weird, but I think it was good.
She left before dinner and we had a calm evening with some old school Star Trek and tea before bed. I didn't get all the sleep I needed last night but Baby did a great job sleeping in this morning, so I'm feeling a bit better :)
Got a busy day tomorrow, going to a baby wearing thing to explore some carrier options and then a ladies night out (for me at least) going color bowling. Or space bowling or whatever that nighttime laser show bowling is called. Gonna be hubbo's longest solo stretch yet!