Would it matter if my sister had a diagnosable mental illness? What if she did and had it diagnosed? Would it matter? Would it change my life at all? Would anything improve?
If she had a diagnosis would her behavior improve? Might she take better care of herself or communicate better? I'm not really convinced. Awareness does nothing without one taking responsibility.
Would it change the family dynamic? Not likely. I doubt she would be held accountable any more than she is now, having a diagnosis may just engender more coddling and tolerance, surely a scenario that would sting me more than the current one. I'd rather my condition be ignored than to have my sister flagrantly treated with kid gloves once diagnosed with a mental illness similar or identical to mine.
Would a diagnosis make us closer? No. Just look to exhibit A and my sister's "accidental" pregnancy. While under vastly different circumstances one might think that undertaking motherhood around the same time would make us closer, but I believe the opposite has occurred.... Who's to say what the future will bring but right now I see us separated like never before.
Would it matter to my life at all? Maybe I'm just stuck in pessimistic mode but the only things I can see are negative. Being called on more to play co-parent or Mrs. Fix-it, watching my family try to help her and being reminded of all the times I've been left to my own devices, or worst of all having the diagnosis be completely ignored, nothing changing, just another elephant added to the herd that occupies the dead air amid my family.
I know there is no answer I can truly reach with this hypothetical. Maybe the only thing remotely cloase to an answer is that it would matter to me. If my sister were diagnosed it would mean that I'm not crazy about something being not quite right. It would make me feel better about all the anguish I've experienced challenging the status quo of my first family and doubting my observations, my own authority.
I guess that's the only answer I'll ever need.