Friday, August 28, 2015

A Wonderful Visit, A Good Day

So often I use my "Family" tag to categorize something troublesome but today I get to add something positive....

For today's visit my hubs and Baby Bananaface brought along my mother-in-law and for the first time in a long time (since I've been feeling low) I was able to really connect with her and we shared some wonderful moments. She was so supportive. Actively supportive in a way that was strange and fabulous to me. Asking me about my meds and how things are going and the food I'm eating and what I'm doing and actually listening. She said that she thinks I'm doing a great thing and even sweet nothings like "things are gonna get better" and putting an arm around me... just so wonderful.

Even without those gems it was a good visit. I got to nurse B.B. and he even fell asleep in my arms for the first time all week. It felt so nice to be reassured that I can still mother him like I used to and I wasn't overwhelmed as I have been in previous visits. I also felt connected to hubs, synced up again, even a little flame. We kissed and hugged more than we have all week. It's funny how those pathways shut down in times of stress almost without noticing...

Today was good as far as groups and socializing around the unit as well. There are a couple of people here that are very... guarded? deluded? emotionally ignorant? divorced from their feelings? They approach everything in a very controlling, almost aggressive way instead of trying to understand, accept, and accommodate their feelings. It is very frustrating for me but I understand that they are on their own journeys.

I enjoyed groups and while some of the time I was light-headed from anxiety or meds I felt better overall. I did have some chest tightness come up during a video on acceptance and I think I really need to put in some hard work toward accepting my sister's pregnancy. She is just about 7 months in after all. Jeesh. I can't believe I am still refusing to accept that... Anyways.

I've really been fascinated with the groups presented on nonviolent communication and am very interested in delving further into that topic. I think it would be very useful for me and my little family to help facilitate the changes we want to make happen for ourselves.

I achieved all the goals I set for myself except working on a schedule for when I return home. So I may putter around some ideas on that before bed tonight... But overall, a good day.

Oh, and I started a swan painting. We shall see how it turns out. I am thinking of giving it to a unit peep but undecided. I think I will know to whom it belongs once I finish it.

Note: I must see the movie "Inside Out."

Subnote: Journeys is a weird ass word as far as spelling. Can't even count how many times I've typed "journies." Pfffft.


9 comments:

  1. I am so very happy for you. You are doing so well. And I hope we see your swan before you give it away.

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  2. Yay you...As EC says, doing well...I'm rolling another happy dance for you! You hit the jackpot in the MIL and husband, lucky woman. I can't wait to see your next painting...you are so talented!

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    1. Thank you :) I'm loving being able to craft again, I hope I can find a way to work it in as I return home. It might just take me longer to finish something as I break up into chunks throughout the day. I am lucky. It feels good to be able to truly feel gratitude again!

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  3. Hannah, I am really happy for you! I would love to see your swan painting! I am not good at all in drawing, sketching or painting, but I love to see the work of others who can! :)

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    1. Thanks Linda :) Having such an encouraging audience really helps me get into my artwork, especially after having gone so long without some good craft time. We all have different talents, I'm glad you can still enjoy art regardless!

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  4. You are right about the word journeys. Actually, the whole English language is pretty fucked up.

    I am glad that you have a wonderful mother-in-law. My mom was never close to her mom but ended up having my nana ( her MIL) as a great support in life. When she died my mom grieved her deeply. She was sad when her mom died but no real grief. It is interesting the way the universe gives us what we need sometimes,

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    1. So true. On both accounts I mean. I was very upset when my mood dived and I wasn't able to appreciate or enjoy my MIL as much, being down makes it very hard for me to accept attention or communicate, just relaxing and enjoying someone's company is hard! So it is good to feel that connection again... So good!

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  5. How wonderful that you have a good relationship with your mother-in-law. That is quite special. And it sounds like you're doing so well. Those baby steps make take a little longer but you're constantly moving forward. Yay YOU! :)

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF