Saturday, August 22, 2015

Day 2-Saturday "on the inside"

Last night and today have gone pretty well. I got to sleep *YESSSSSS* but getting up to pump was a bit obnoxious. I'm still getting used to the schedule here. It's a bit.... rigorous? There's always something around the corner and it can be exhausting as I hate to miss anything!

The food is pretty good. I met a nice lentil soup today at lunch though I did not enjoy my chicken noodle at dinner. The chocolate cake for dinner's dessert was good and I really enjoyed the turkey sandwich and chips (one of my fav types) at lunch. We get an evening snack at 8:00 PM which was definitely called for last night. I guess it's a good sign that I have more appetite and feel so hungry now, though it is somewhat shocking after going so long with next to no interest in food.


I'm really into my fruit cups but don't eat the honeydew.... I hope I have one coming for evening snack but I can't remember what I put on my menu. It's funny, I fill these things out and then forget and then my meal is like a surprise but exactly what I want! D'oh. 

Anyways.... Today I managed to get to all the groups and get my pumping done and the hubs and B.B. came to visit and I got to nurse and cuddle and stuff (way exhausting but good). I had made him a card at group with watercolors and he really liked it, "The most beautiful card I've ever received" he said. I'm not sure about that but I enjoyed making it for him. 


I randomly decided to paint a seahorse and looked up a picture on my phone, I would've liked to have gone into more detail but didn't have a good pencil or good ink/marker. But hey, it was fun and I like it regardless :) Afterward I realized that seahorse daddies bear the kidlets and that the hub's is taking over with the baby right now so it was sort of symbolic in that way... didn't put that together until after though. Silly brain.

Had some anxiety flare up today (during our relaxation exercise oddly enough) rode it out for a while but ended up taking some meds for it. Got my first round of Seroquel last night, 25, going to be moving it up throughout the week. So far it has been okay, just felt sleepy and maybe a little more relaxed but as I said still anxious here and there. Some tears today and yesterday but I haven't been bawling and the release is good.

So far everything is OK with breastfeeding which calms me. I've been pumping and popping the bags into the freezer (am I the only one that misread that as "pumping and pooping?"), and since the hubs said we were down to 3 or 4 bags at home I guess it's good I'm staying hard at work here! Must make sure I don't run out of bags!

Whew. 

Tired. Better in some ways. Still hurting. Working on it. 

Ordering jello again tomorow.  Orange is my preference :)

Now to group....



15 comments:

  1. I take Serequel for anxiety instead of Ativan and it works wonders.

    Love the seahorse! A good daddy seahorse!

    Enjoy your orange jello. It is my favourite too. And green. Never red.

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    1. Too funny-I think I got Ativan for my acute anxiety this afternoon! I will see if they have green... I know I ain't no fan of red!

      Thank you :)

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  2. Love the sea horse and how it relates to your hubs. You are brave and I thank you for sharing your stories, struggles and journey.

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    1. And thank you, for sharing and being honest about your journey.

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  3. LOVE your seahorse and the symbolism.
    Hooray for sleeping and eating.
    Oceans of caring.

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  4. What a great card and the symbolism is so apt. I'm relieved to hear you are eating and sleeping. Both will make a difference, and I hope the groups help as well. Thank you for continuing to write here.

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    1. And thank you for reading and your support :)

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  5. Hannah, I love your seahorse, it is beautiful!!! I am so happy to hear that your appetite for food is returning, and I can relate, because for weeks I had no appetite for food and now my appetite is returning as well and it feels great to eat again, as we really need this for energy and sustenance. It is good that you are enjoying (it seems) most of the food, and the tray you are sharing looks so good! And it is good you are sleeping, this is also important. Thank you so much for sharing, Hannah, and please know that you are in my thoughts and that I am rooting for you over here in Montreal, Canada. :) Hugs.

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    1. Thank you :) Comments like this really matter, thank you :) I'm glad your appetite is returning too! Funny how sneakily it comes and goes!

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  6. Eating and sleeping. Two things that we do without realizing how much they relate to our health. I'm glad you're doing both. That seahorse is amazing! You are very talented. Thanks for sharing your journey. I hope that we are helping you heal, even if it's in a small way.

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    1. You are helping :) Definitely definitely! Thanks for checking in, I appreciate it. Eating & sleeping, so basic and yet it gets so complicated! I'll keep at it :)

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  7. I hope it doesn't cause you anxiety but I love a nice red raspberry jelly (I'm guessing our jelly is your jello). We only ever had red when I was growing up and I've never managed to change colour. Very strange.
    I breastfed my babies for eighteen months, it was the most relaxing thing I have ever done. I'm old now, 52, but I still have the urge to pick up a baby and nurse it, not in a weird pick up a random child sort of way though.:)

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    1. I remember Mom making a blue one quite often... for whatever reason I got hooked on orange!

      That is too funny about breastfeeding, Birdie really enjoying nursing her kids too :) Sometimes I really enjoy it, others I'm overwhelmed. I will say the song I sing to B.B. while nursing has become very relaxing for me :)

      Too funny. I keeping thinking of news headlines "Serial nurser snatches kids of the street" haha

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF