Can you spy the baby woodpecker? Made my day a couple weeks ago.
Took a video, he was pretty sensitive-so I tried to keep quiet :) He finally noticed me and I had to sneak away. So cute how he was practicing pecking and crawling!
I saw this way-cool duck on a different day. I saw her swimming and on my way back she was on shore and I snapped a pic. Not entirely sure what she is... a different species or a mutated mallard? Either way, I love her! Gorgeous!
In Hannah news, I'm better today but not well by any stretch. Still weak, still flooded with anxiety.
I spent some time away from the condo and B.B. which was nice. Did lab work and went to the cafe by the trail I walk that I usually navigate with my big ass stroller but today it was just me and laptop-stuffed purse. The hubs is home again but he'll be at the office tomorrow-I'm planning to be out of the house as much as possible.
Talked with my mother this afternoon on phone/texting. Baby shower for my sister and all sorts of shit. The hubs is dead set against it. I think I'm going to ask a family friend to meet me so I can hand off my gift...
It was a weird conversation with my mom. She was talking about why the hubs is coming at all and what will he do and how I was going to handle B.B. and keep him from being passed around since I'm so sensitive about that and then I just cracked, "BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SUICIDAL AND SELF HARMING THIS WEEK." She engaged for a little bit but then diverted to telling stories about my sister and talking more about the shower, closing the call with a "we're here for you, you just have to say when you need us, I love you missy."
The hubs had tried to help me by typing notes as I was on call, "DONT LET HER MANIPULATE YOU" and "DONT GET INTO DETAILS, IT OPENS THE DOOR" whatever that one meant, but I overshared, got nothing back, nothing new. Lonely and disappointed. That's what mothers are for right? (dark sarcasm) I have to remind myself that I don't have to be like that, that good mothers happen all the time and that B.B. won't necessarily feel about me how I feel about my mom or go through what I have.... Ugh. Anyway.
I felt sick. Stomach in knots. Wanting to scream, to call "bullshit," to hang up on her. Ugh. I wish I could get my body pumped for anger like a stomach pump for poisons.
Not good timing for more family shit methinks.
Looking forward to La Leche League picnic Saturday but concerned about energy levels and perceived hypocrisy (going to that instead of Sunday shower).
Oh, appointment bumped up to Friday due to a cancellation, so that's good. Skipping counseling tomorrow, rearranging babysitting again.... This week is just a cluster!
OH I-spy woodpecker answers below :)