All my life my weight has been all over the place ( mostly up) and all my life I blamed myself or my family's lifestyle of poor eating habits and yo-yo dieting, but the last few years I've begun seeing the touch of my disease, the influence of medications, depressions, and hypomania over the years along with all the other influences. It's crazy.
Another thing, no matter how heavy I've been I've always felt weak, fragile. The image of death camp victims or mummified cavemen curled in the fetal position describe my internal self, oh of course I feel like a whale sometimes but deep down I'm undernourished, starved for love and care. I wonder how many other depressive folks share that with me?
Just a thought on this foggy morning as I snuggle up and wrap more layers upon myself.... All the layers over the years and still a chill... Hmm.