Sure, stuff comes up in group and I'm working on changing habits and patterns at home, but for some reason translating that into blogging has been tougher. I'm not sure if maybe my meds are kicking in and changing my status quo in unexpected ways or if I'm simply tired and something had to give. Either way, less posts have been posted or even attempted.
So. I'm doing pretty well. Less and less suicidal thoughts/flashes and self harming urges and I'm able to do more self care and take better care of myself. I'm still struggling with the eating enough and feeding myself when I'm hungry but overall I've been improving.
I've been quite worried about my mood taking a sharp upswing last week and fearing the bottom dropping out. It hasn't happened and I've been able to maintain an even keel for a few days, but the worry is becoming worse and worse. My shoulders ache, my thoughts aren't quite blatantly running away but in a subconscious way I feel the hum of anxiety in my mind.
The babe has been crawling (full crawl, belly up style now) and cruising along the level change between our living room and dining area, more babbling and his grip has improved-so much growth. In the negative we've had some fall out from my mastitis meds. The antibiotics affected his gut flora and he started getting diarrhea-not full on but enough to get major diaper rash and cause discomfort. We've got him taking probiotics and we're coating him with Vaseline and A&D waiting for things to calm down. I've still got a few days left of antibiotics.
My supply seems to be coming up again, which is good, but I am worried about keeping the freezer stash up.
Tired. Gonna laze around a bit. Maybe a lovely hot beverage.... REST is on my menu.