Tuesday, September 1, 2015

First Full Day Out

Grade: C

Today was rough. My body aches all over. I took a nap even though I didn't want to give into my inclination to sleep my way to safety, but hey, it got me there.

The thoughts of hurting myself and baby came back today. I was scared, I was disappointed, I told myself "Those are bad thoughts" over and over but ended up sitting in the baby's room staring into the abyss. Eventually I roused myself and took Baby Bananaface to Grandma (hub's mom) and I went to the bedroom and laid down for a couple hours or three...

There is still a ways to go as far as me making it through a day on my own. A long ways. I have to get used to feeding the baby again, reading his moods and needs, and feeding myself. Today I had regular meals thanks to my mother-in-law but I am pretty sure on my own things would've been quite rough. Hell, they felt rough with help!

I did do some of my coping skills from the hospital, including weaving a bracelet or two (the first was cat-sized) and using reading to distract myself as well as PBS documentary on the Roosevelts (very good). I managed to talk to the hubs about what was going on with me which isn't always the case and felt good.

MIL got me a coloring book too, did that yesterday
and it was quite helpful :)

Baby is growing up so fast. He started sitting up on his own the last couple days. Crazy! I feel like he just figured out flipping over!



And how I feel today in baby picture form:



One hour at a time. ND tomorrow for thyroid results. Psychiatrist Thursday. Go, go, go.

11 comments:

  1. I'm glad you had your mom-in-laws to go to. That's a good thing.

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    1. Yeah she is here for a couple days to help me ease back into things but she goes back home (4 hours east) Thursday. Guess I'll be chasing down the UPS guy next week! Glad for her while I have her though.

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    2. Four hours, yikes. Glad she's there for you now, though.

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  2. Thank goodness you have family and loved ones whom you can turn to, Hannah! I lost both my parents when I was in my 20's, within a year of each other, over 30 years ago, and I am an only child. I am also divorced with no children (have been divorced after 15 years of marriage since 1998). I have thankfully good friends. Keep on keeping on. Sending you a warm hug.

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    1. Linda that sounds so rough and I can't imagine as a HSP on top of it. You are quite a remarkable lady to spreading such encouragement in spite of such pain. Very grateful for you!

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  3. I am so glad you had support.
    And a C grade is still a passing grade. Which is wonderful.
    Hugs.

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    Replies
    1. Word. Gotta get used to a lower bar, A grades aren't gonna be happening at my expense anymore!

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  4. as long as you get a grade A for being a human being, I wouldn't worry too much.
    I'd give you an A+.

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  5. That is wonderful that you have good support. It really helps to have a soft place to land. I hope today is a much better day for you! Your little guy is so sweet. That first year of development is amazing. Full of so many beautiful moments.

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  6. Don't worry...your support is wonderful and so is Baby Banana face...so cute...Things will get better. I am also an HSP and basically on my own. Sleep and balance help and you are aware of this and working on those...Hugs to you and your family.

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  7. Aww! Look at him sitting up!

    Sending you and your MIL. She sounds like a gem.

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF