Today was rough. My body aches all over. I took a nap even though I didn't want to give into my inclination to sleep my way to safety, but hey, it got me there.
The thoughts of hurting myself and baby came back today. I was scared, I was disappointed, I told myself "Those are bad thoughts" over and over but ended up sitting in the baby's room staring into the abyss. Eventually I roused myself and took Baby Bananaface to Grandma (hub's mom) and I went to the bedroom and laid down for a couple hours or three...
There is still a ways to go as far as me making it through a day on my own. A long ways. I have to get used to feeding the baby again, reading his moods and needs, and feeding myself. Today I had regular meals thanks to my mother-in-law but I am pretty sure on my own things would've been quite rough. Hell, they felt rough with help!
I did do some of my coping skills from the hospital, including weaving a bracelet or two (the first was cat-sized) and using reading to distract myself as well as PBS documentary on the Roosevelts (very good). I managed to talk to the hubs about what was going on with me which isn't always the case and felt good.
|MIL got me a coloring book too, did that yesterday|
and it was quite helpful :)
Baby is growing up so fast. He started sitting up on his own the last couple days. Crazy! I feel like he just figured out flipping over!
And how I feel today in baby picture form:
One hour at a time. ND tomorrow for thyroid results. Psychiatrist Thursday. Go, go, go.