Saturday, November 21, 2015

Thar she blows... nope, give it another hour or two.

I was in the bathroom. Both lights on, fan grinding away, my arms working back and forth as I plunged my heart out.

Seven days without a bowl movement had snuck up on me, but it wouldn't sneak away that same way. Damn.

The baby cried in the background and I heard the hubs open the door behind me just a crack.

"Crested her shores!" I hurrumphed, assuming he was surveying the damage. The door shut again without a word from him

I kept plunging. My husband returned.

"Why don't you take care of the crying baby and I'll take care of this? Play to our fortes?" He walked into the bathroom from the other door leading from our bedroom, talking as he reached for the plunger. "What the--aw fuck!" His socked foot found the toilet water pooled on the white tiles in front of the bathtub.

I grimaced and giggled.

"You didn't tell me you flooded it!" He observed the pool of water and clumped up bathmat and sighed disapprovingly.

"I said 'crested her shores,' what more was there to say?"

"That's too vague! Crested Her Shores, what is that? a porno?" He was amused and frustrated, the amusement winning out.

We laughed and went to our respective positions, him at the toilet, me with our baby at my breast. It would be a few minutes before he broke the plunger and we took an impromptu family shopping trip to ye old Fred Meyer, meandering the supermarket in a distracted shuffle of shame so often generated by hoisting a plunger outside the hardware section.

We are officially renewing our effort as a family to keep me on fiber supplements.


So that was part of our evening. I'm not sure if it's my meds or being sick or what, but things got bad this week. Seems like they might be getting worse as Baby Bananaface puked all over himself, me, and a portion of the carpet and has developed a little fever. We're monitoring him and he's got some Tylenol now, but I am worried. Anything like what I went through and he's gonna be at risk for concentrated lithium.

Ugh. Happy weekend us! Not.


20 comments:

  1. Have you ever tried Traditional Medicinals, Organic Smooth Move? It contains senna and I find, works well. They have different flavours, too. I love the regular one, but if you fancy chamomile or chocolate, they have those in the Smooth Move, line as well.

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    1. *adding to shopping list* Thank you for the recommendation/reminder! I have never tried teas before for this but have had success with other types of teas so I will give it a go!

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    2. We call it poopy tea. If you've never used senna leaf but it's powerful shit (pun intended). You might have to ask your herbalist first or gp. I dunno. Let me get the box ...

      .... Okay back, here's what the back reads:

      NOTICE: This product contains senna leaf. Read and follow directions carefully. Do not use if you have or develope diarrhea, loose stools, or abnormal pain because senna leaf may worsen these conditions and be harmful to your health. Consult your physician if you have frequent diarrhea, or if you are pregnant, nursing, taking medication or have a medical condition.

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    3. *punches air gleefully* PUNS FOR THE WINS!!!! Thanks Whisk!

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  2. This is definitely the most interesting, unique and most entertaining blog post I've read today. I hope it all turns out well for all of you! Good advice from Wonder Woman above (aka The Happy Whisk). She is good with stuff like this.

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    1. I am the Queen of Poopy herbal teas. Thanks :-)

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    2. There are much worse (and less useful) things to be Queen of. Though I am chuckling at the alliteration of Princess Poopy Tea...

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    3. Princess Poopy Tea, Queen Poopy Tea.... I love how if you say it out loud and don't see the spelling it simply sounds like some exotic royal! "Her highness, Pupitee has arrived!"

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    4. Hahahahaha, you're cracking me up. I have a good friend and I call her Princess Baloney. Silly but fun.

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  3. Hannah,

    It sounds to me as if you are not getting enough fiber. Do you eat plenty of fruits and vegetables? (raw, like in a salad?) Are you in any pain? 7 days without a bowel movement is an awfully long time! If that were myself I wouldn't have waited, because the "norm" is anywhere from 3 times a day to once every day to two days. 7 days is so far out of the norm that I would see a doctor about it. It is possible you could be dealing with diverticulitis or any other condition. I try to eat more fiber (as in raw fruits and veggies), and less packaged foods and yes, even less meat, especially beef.

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    1. My diet has been terrible lately as my appetite has been suppressed. There is a long history of constipation in my family and the longest I've gone without a BM is 10 days, so a week was "well crap" but I wasn't panicking. Sad, but there it is. I had gotten to the point where I was going everyday (it was wonderful!) with the right diet and fiber supplements. I can get there again, just have to start.... living. I am going to eat a salad today minimum though!

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  4. how do you do it? All this poop and puke and toilet water and STILL finding some humor to deal with it (same for your H)!!!
    I think you are amazing, but wish things will clear up quickly now. This is going on too long! Healing vibes from across the ocean being sent.
    (PS beware with the poopy tea while breastfeeding - senna is quite agressive)
    love

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    1. I try! Thankfully we are both silly people generally speaking (I'm silly yet can be horribly depressive, odd but there ya go).

      Taking in those healing vibes and hoping for the best. Good catch on the senna, I will double check with my lactation consultant.

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  5. Hi,

    I have another suggestion. Several years ago, I was the patient of a doc who though an MD, worked with natural remedies. After developing some constipation, she advised to drink more water to push through the fiber I was ingesting and magnesium tablets which can gently stimulate the bowels with no side effects from additives such as those found in Milk of Magnesia, for example. I took a handful with a large glass of water and eventually went. Now, when I have the same problem, that is my go to. You might also want to check with a compounding pharmacist in your area. Compounding pharmacists have a background in how plants and other things work because they make medicines froom them

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    1. sorry for the typo...hugs!

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    2. Good on you for suring magnesium tablets. Love all these kinds of remedies. And yes, lots and lots of water and also, to pay attention to when we have to poo. It's amazing how many people push it aside and just keep the toxins in.

      Out they must go. Out with all of them.

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    3. I imagined Whisk as the Queen of Hearts after reading that comment!

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  6. After I had my son I went 9 days without pooping. When I finally did I had to go back to the hospital to get an enema. The shit was the biggest I had ever had before or since. I wanted to save it and bronze it and keep it on the mantle.

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF