I'm not sure if it was meds or if I'm just that depressed and anxious again, but this morning I had a superstitious moment of "So that was it..." when the hubs gently broke it to me that my sister had her baby. It happened last night just before 11:00 pm, a Veteran's Day baby.
So. It happened, this thing I've been dreading for about 7 months. I feel something but it's so deep I can't understand it yet. Part of me just doesn't give a flying rat assed fuck (no, I don't know what that is) and then this other part of me is angry and a wittle part of me is sad at the distance between my family and not feeling closer. But when my mother passive aggressives about it in the texts to my husband, kinda stokes my fire and flushes my caring.
What I do know is that this lady gets to pick out an easy chair!