Sunday, January 17, 2016

New Day, New Gauge

I've named this pink beauty Heinrich. I was really close to getting stuck in my hand but I've heard that sucks so I whined a bit and the IV nurse admitted that I did have another vein in my arm after all.

Today was a rough day for me. I didn't want to get out of bed. I was suicidal and really negative. Got to brekkie close to two hours late after my nurse rustled me outta bed. Despite my low mood and high anxiety I stayed in the common area for the football game (we lost) and worked on a puzzle.

This afternoon the hubs came by. Was nice just being the two of us for a bit, having the baby with my folks. Later my mom and friend S came by. I hadn't seen S in a long time, I was so glad she reached out and came to visit.

My mood is still low. I'm not looking forward to having this catheter in my arm and doing treatments and waiting around and having headaches and throat aches and missing meals but there isn't much choice. The hubs said the nurse says that the low mood is a good sign, that we have to go through the dark to get to the light sort of thing.

I could do without.



  1. Hang in there, Hannah...hope the e-mail I sent helps you in some small way. Hugs.

  2. Heartfelt hugs. Today and every day. Dark or light.

  3. I sometimes think medical professionals say that crap because they think it makes patients feel better when in reality it has the opposite effect and they would be better off saying that they are doing the best they can and to please hang in there even though that may be tough...More hugs for you.

  4. I hope pink Heinrich also allows an infusion of love, laughter, hot chocolate, stars, carefree feelings, lovely sleep and everything that will benefit you.

  5. Hugs to you, sweet girl. I wish you a better day.

  6. Lots of warm and healing thoughts headed your way.

  7. I like the idea of the IV not being in your hands. Having it there makes everything awkward.

    I don't know that it is a good sign having a low mood either. If it is it doesn't make it suck any less. I think you have had more than enough dark to get to and enjoy the light.

    I am so proud of you. You ---> Strong and brave.


Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF