Saturday, January 30, 2016

Thursday's Trauma

I'm behind schedule but felt like doing some Thursday's Trauma anyways! Here are the prompts from Delores at Under the Porch Light, I will bold whichever words I end up utilizing. 

ramshackledisposemunicipalbenevolentgardenindustrious

OR

calculate, misfire, truant, cap, brick, dangling

OR
fun with rhyme

pillow, mellow, jello, brillo, dayglo, gigolo

Let's see if I can continue with Kate and John from last week, eh?
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"Kate, watch out!" John splashed a cup of water at the floor as he waved her out the door of his kitchen. It was their fourth date and they were cooking between large glasses of wine and now a very dramatic spider encounter. 

"Chillax, he's just a little lost, give me a second and I'll dispose of him." Kate shrugged, sipped her wine and hunted for a slip of paper to pair with an empty glass for spider transportation purposes. "He'll be much happier out on the balcony garden."

"Hold it right there, you act like he's some benevolent insect just happening by for a nice visit but he's a spider; an industrious terror machine that would like nothing more than to bite your neck and spin webs in your closets!" John clutched a kitchen rag and prepared for a full on assault aimed at the quarter-sized arachnid, " Never trust a spider."

Kate laughed. "Seriously, I can take him outside in two seconds, no big deal."

As she leaned down with a piece of paper and a glass, John gasped and grabbed at her shoulders, pushing her back and up into the wall as the spider scuttled across the kitchen toward the oven. 

"Ah damn, he's gunning for the garlic bread." John frowned and edged away from the spider's path. 

"Wow, seriously? He's just a little spider!" Kate poured more wine into John's glass and guided him toward the far side of the kitchen, " You just concentrate on this while I take care of Mr. Spider here."

John continued to frown and rubbed his sweaty palms on the front of his jeans. "This isn't how things work in my apartment, spiders are the enemy. Period. I couldn't let you be attacked, it's a code of honor thing."

"Sounds like a 'code of paranoia' thing to me!" Kate scoffed. "Besides, in a building this old I'm surprised you don't have spiders in every corner." Scooping up the offending party and clamping a glass over the spider as it surfed on the sheet of printer paper, Kate carried it to the balcony before John could tackle her again. 

"You're either the bravest woman I know or the most delusional." John shook his head and watched her escort the spider out of the apartment.

"I prefer soft-hearted and decidedly not arachnaphobic!" Kate smirked and deposited the creature on the balcony in a crowded planter. "You, on the other hand, seem to possess a special kind of a fear that I don't quite understand." She shut the sliding glass door, threw away the paper and placed the glass in the sink before gathering up her own wine glass for a toast. 

"Well I think letting spiders haunt balconies should be against municipal codes but your ramshackle spider wrangling seems to have worked well enough for now." John grinned and raised his glass to Kate's achievement, "Thank you for saving us, my princess in shining armor."

"That was quite a big spider now that I think of it, maybe I deserve something more than a toast..." Kate glanced mischievously over her wine glass at John and ever-so-lightly licked her lips. He responded with a dazzling smile, setting his glass down as he wrapped his arms around her and leaned in for a kiss.

"I am most grateful and happy to oblige you madam." Smiling, he brought his lips to hers and gently kissed into the wine stained pucker. "Perhaps I'll learn to like spiders yet!"

Kate smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. "And if not, I can always be your princess in shining armor."

"Agreed."


6 comments:

  1. Brilliant.
    And all too familiar. My smaller portion is terrified of spiders. Given the slightest opportunity he drowns them in fly-spray - before jumping on the corpse.
    I escort them outside in just the way you describe.
    The irony? I have been fanged by spiders twice now.

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    1. I am sorry for your spider attacks but that punchline was quite good! Thank you for the smile :)

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  2. Well, I am a spider lover but if I lived where EC does I would have to move. That and the snakes. agghhg

    Where do you get your characters from? And when you become a famous author will you send me signed copies of your books?

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    1. I just make my characters up and if I ever do become a famous author you will get signed copies of every book I ever publish :) Raunchy romance, goofy sci-fi or anything in between!

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  3. Great story. So nice to see you back here.

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF