Not feeling so great today. Yesterday the ECT doctor asked about switching to bilateral treatment. Part of me doesn't care about potentially losing memories but I am upset about the ECT not doing exactly what it's supposed to do. I've been going under anesthesia and being zapped in the head for weeks and haven't felt much difference. I'm disappointed to be feeling this crappy after this much time. I'm not sure if I have much confidence in switching to bilateral if unilateral hasn't done much for me.
I also get to look forward to new medications that may or may not work. Woohoo.
Ugh. Unilateral. Bilateral. Medications. My therapist says I need to find someone else that is better able to assist me.
I'm sad. I feel like a failure. I'm losing faith in the treatments, my doctors.
Poop on a stick.
Poop on a flippin' stick.
Whatever that means.