Sunday, February 21, 2016

Just Keep Swimming

I'm sad today. Been thinking of my Aunt Sally, wondering about my friends from the hospital, worrying about my future and getting all the details together that I want to get together. I am trying to remind myself to take things slow and give myself a chance to work back up to life but I feel pressure and stress and sadness.

I'm going to try and not think it out too much, going to try and keep on keepin' on.

I believe I have one ECT appointment next week. It seems like a really big difference so I want to call them up and verify that it's only one appointment and that I'm not missing something. Also meeting with a new therapist, hoping that goes well.

Sigh. I don't want to dwell on the negative but I think I need to give some credit to the fact that I was in a really bad place not that long ago and that it's only reasonable to take a little while to get my shit back together. So I'm not back in the gym 3x or more every week, so I'm not meeting up with other moms and walking the trail again yet.  I've been through some shit and it's gonna take a little while for me to get back on the right track.

Little by little. Being gentle and kind with myself is a good thing! I'll find my happier place somewhere soon sometime!

This banana is just gonna keep swimming... that's a fun visual. ;)

8 comments:

  1. Yes, I agree with you in giving yourself credit. Huge steps forward have been made, with lots of healing and more good steps to follow.

    Keep up the good work.

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    1. Thanks Whisk :) Your words mean a lot, feels like I'm rubbing them all over like aloe vera on burns! I will keep on trying with the good work :)

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  2. Sad is fine. And is an entirely different place to hopeless.
    You have made huge strides, and been through a lot. I love that you are learning to be kinder to yourself, and that the banana is going to surf the waves. Hugs.

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    1. Thanks EC :) Surfin' banana sounds good. It's tough but giving myself a break sure helps... and very good point about sad vs. hopeless. Very good point!

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  3. You're doing amazing, Hannah. One step at a time, one day at a time. Life has thrown you quite a few curve balls but you're still standing. Hugs to you!

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    1. Thanks Martha! Somehow I made it this far! Gonna keep on tryin' :)

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  4. Allow the grief. That is very real and not your brain lying to you. The rest will come. You are doing so well!

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    1. Thanks Birdie :) Little by little :)

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF