Thursday, April 7, 2016

F is for F-bombs #atozchallenge



This post is part of my first year doing the A to Z Challenge and I happen to be writing under the theme Gratitude: The Things That Keep Me Alive. This is a relevant theme for me as I am struggling with postpartum depression, and also have diagnosed anxiety and bipolar II (just to let you know what's going on with me-it might be pertinent as you read the post below). Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!


F is for F-bombs because, *sigh*, I sure love dropping a F-bomb every now and again (okay, probably WAY more often than I'd admit but, hey, I'm a work in progress). It's like one-second therapy or an anti-anxiety pill that works in a snap, it's just so fuckin' nice to just say fuck sometimes. 

It's even a little more complex than I initially thought; as I was writing this post I realized that fuckin' things (verbally that is) is therapeutic for me because it helps externalize things and validate my feelings instead of me blaming myself or muting my complaints, biting my tongue, or basically telling myself I'm not worthwhile enough to have a valid complaint or feeling. 

I have a tendency to hold things in because I have low self esteem/family culture/however you wanna explain it and don't consider my feelings valid or worthwhile. Maybe it's juvenile, but "fuck" helps me work towards validating my feelings and honoring myself and my experience, and that's fuckin' important! I hope that someday I will be able to use "big girl" words to describe my experience, but at the moment, just saying fuck and acknowledging a feeling is there is a step in a good direction. 

My husband has made it clear that I need to work on my potty mouth now that we have a son and I'm trying to frick instead of fuck but it's damn hard. Shit. Well, obviously I have a ways to go as far as cursing goes, but I may very well always love my F-bombs :o)

11 comments:

  1. One of my nephews (aged about 12) asked me what word started with F and ended in UCK. Firetruck was his quick response.
    I also have a potty mouth. And rarely feel guilty. Much better out than in. The things I bottle up have a nasty habit of festering.
    Another Fine post.

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    1. Thanks EC, I'll have to remember that Firetruck line!

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  2. THIS is why I'm so very glad I stumbled onto your blog. I have a special place in my heart for F-bombs...as well as those who appreciate them. :) I'm feeling a sudden desire to burst into my own rendition of Jay and Silent Bob's "fuckity fuck song" hahaha!!!

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    1. Glad I'm not alone and glad you enjoy! Haha A nice session of fuckity-fuck song singing sounds delightfully therapeutic :)

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  3. Now when I hear someone use the F word, I will think about it differently. They may be using it to externalize their feelings. But that's going to hard to explain to you son's preschool teacher. :)

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    1. True! I hope I calm down with it by then, seems like I'm going through a bit of a "spurt" lately.

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  4. I used to never swear, then I became a checkout chook and that job had me saying the F word far too often. Now I can't stop. I've tried saying fudge and sometimes Fuuuu..Farouk instead. Sometimes only the original F will do.

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    1. It's funny how much power a word can have! They're all just arbitrary letters and meanings but sometimes good ole, full blown F word is the only thing that works ;o)

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  5. I never swore around my kid and I still don't. My parents never swore around me and my brothers and I guess I felt I should continue that with my own kids. But because sometimes the word 'fuck' is all that's needed to sum up how you feel, I invented my own swear language to use around my kids. Took awhile to get into the habit but eventually it stuck.

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    1. Ahhhh So do they not say those bad words? I thought about this but then thought they would know what I meant anyways (and I didn't want to bother). I think my parents did swear around us at least I remember from a certain age hearing them drop damn, shit, and the occasional F-bomb... I wonder how much that impacted things? Probably quite a bit!

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF