This post is part of my first year doing the A to Z Challenge and I happen to be writing under the theme Gratitude: The Things That Keep Me Alive. This is a relevant theme for me as I am struggling with postpartum depression, and also have diagnosed anxiety and bipolar II (just to let you know what's going on with me-it might be pertinent as you read the post below). Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!
As if this comes as a surprise to ANYONE who knows me. Seriously. As much hell as I put him through, I'm super, duper, yes ma'am, holy cow, very much aware of how spectacular my husband is, how good to me my husband is, and how much I love him (thinking he's hot stuff goes along with "love him" in my book-hey, "hot stuff" is "H" too!).
So how is Hubster so fabulous? What's the big deal? For my regular readers it's not news, but for new visitors I'll lay it out for ya, no problem.
I happen to have Bipolar II Disorder (and anxiety and borderline personality disorders). It's not as terrible as some other diseases or conditions but it can sure make life harder (read: make life hell) and the hubs is just about the only person on the planet that experiences my disease anywhere near as fully as I do. By that I mean that I am the most honest and expressive with my husband, I hold far less back and even though I do withhold some things and some thoughts or resist some impulses (who doesn't censor a bit) he sure experiences most of the worst of me, the scariest of me, the funniest of me, the sweetest of me, the meanest of me, the everything.
And he hangs around.
More than that, he's nice to me. He's understanding, he's comforting, he's supportive, he's proactive. He's like my team captain, team coach, and top player all rolled into one when it comes to fighting my disease. DBT therapy? His idea. Inpatient? All him. Changing therapists? Him again. ECT? He helped me confront my stigma and fear. Meds? You have no clue how resistant I am to taking my medicine and how much he encourages me to keep at it.
Not only is he like a movie star (read: make believe superhero) when it comes to helping me out (and totally supporting me and our family on top of all the extracurriculars) he makes my heart flutter and my cheeks blush like a high school crush!
He's tall, has broad shoulders and doesn't have chicken legs (that's a thing with me) and he's got this magnetic smile but also pops a quirky smirk when appropriate. I love his captivating green eyes and his goofy curly hair and the fact that we're both uber pale and love sunscreen.We share a certain sense of humor and enjoy some similar hobbies and he knows how to make me feel sexy and get me going in that special way (which has to be some sort of Olympic achievement with my BPD and PPD right now).
We met in 2012 but it feels like we just met and have also known each other forever all at once, and I wouldn't be surprised if it always felt that way.
I love him. So much. And I appreciate him so much. He keeps me alive in more ways than one, and that's an amazing thing. He fits the theme in the way that I appreciate him and he motivates me to stay alive and try but also in the way that he literally keeps me alive!
*sigh* He's just so awesome. I could keep going, it makes me glow and feel so wonderful and ahhhh! He's amazing. But, we all got lives to live, right? Just take my word for it ;o)
|The man, himself!|