This post is part of my first year doing the A to Z Challenge and I happen to be writing under the theme Gratitude: The Things That Keep Me Alive. This is a relevant theme for me as I am struggling with postpartum depression, and also have diagnosed anxiety and bipolar II (just to let you know what's going on with me-it might be pertinent as you read the post below). Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!
O is for obduracy and not obligations because I wanted to stay positive and my first choice of "obligations" wasn't headed in positive directions. For whatever reason I had a difficult time thinking up an 'O' and had to look at a Scrabble word finder list for inspiration. Obdurate stuck me like Cupid's arrow. Inspiration from this word, and for the favor I give it back fawning affection from my nerdy little brain.
Yes. I am in English major---and I approve of this word. <3 ;o)
I had to double check the definition but my original guess was pretty close: refusing to do what other people want or not willing to change your opinion or the way that you do something.
That may not sound very positive and upbeat but it can actually be a powerful thing to be obdurate. My husband is obdurately optimistic and my obdurate nature toward authenticity is essential to my recovery and a huge part of why I'm still around. Without insisting on being genuine and pursuing a life where I can be myself and always believing that it's possible to find people to share my life with that actually approve and care for me as I am and don't expect me to be something that I'm not... that's vital!
There are times when obduracy can be scary... I don't begrudge folks their religions or political views but when it gets in the way of being a decent human being I get a bit pissed off. That, to me, is a perfect example of some bad obduracy. But when I think of obdurate religious or political folks that are kind and helpful and selfless and happy, that warms my heart. See how thin the line can be with this!? It's boggling.
So I hope that I can remain to use obdurate behavior in a positive way and battle my brain's well worn negative circuits that veer to the terrible side of obduracy. Thankfully doing DBT is helping me identify those negative circuits, flush them out, and reroute them. We all have our stubborn bad habits, but when those bad habits start to kill ya they need to be confronted, methinks!
How is being obdurate a positive in your life? a negative? Are you trying to change any of your obdurate ways?