Friday, April 22, 2016

The 51%ers vs. The 75%ers

Yes, this is a rather odd title for a post but once I lay it out for ya I think you will agree that it's actually quite awesome... and ya know what, some of you might even relate or find it a useful way to look at things. ANYWAY, I'll try to focus and get to the point.

Here's the dealio. A few weeks back I was in therapy and told a story to my therapist about the hubster. He and I were driving to therapy-that day actually-having a discussion about his chronic headaches and how he suffers painful headaches and "feels like shit about 50% of the time." I said, "50%!? That's an F, ya know. Seems unacceptable to me." He replied, with a bit of sass, "Well, 51% of the time I feel fine. That's good enough for me."

My therapist enjoyed the story and asked me where I would need be, percentage-wise, to be happy. I said 75% or higher, I usually aim for 98% and higher, but 75% is a C-grade and average so that would be "acceptable" to me. She nodded and said that she related to me and then asked what I thought the 51%ers were missing out on having a lower standard for happiness.

I couldn't quite think of anything at first. I thought it might be a trick question, but I answered, "Maybe stress and more work and time spent on "getting it right?" She smirked and smiled and nodded and I started to get it. If I lower my standards I can be happier more often, I can spend more time enjoying life instead of worrying and stressing over details and putting more time and energy into things that are good enough as is!

My therapist also painted a good picture of how a 75%er's brain works by telling me to imagine two old school thermometers with a scale from 0-100. One scale is for negative events and 75%ers are sensitive to every negative event whether it reads at a 1 or 100 level intensity but on the other scale, the happy scale, we can only register a happy event if it measures 75 or higher, the less intense happy moments are lost to us and we miss out on all those extra happy moments. The 51%ers are raking in more happiness because they have a lower standard and accept more happy events in their lives.

I love this imagery and it has been very helpful so far as I "try to think more like a 'normal' person." :op

Anyway. The hubster and I are working on getting me down to say, 61% or lower instead of the 75% and higher. Don't know if I can get lower than that, but we shall see! Every once in a while he calls me out when I'm getting upset by asking, "What would a 51%er say?" and it is so helpful in not only calming me down but helping me reroute the conditioned circuits in my brain that only see negativity.

So the next time you start getting stressed out or find yourself upset, ask yourself what a 51%er would say and maybe you'll find yourself letting go of some extra stress and worry that you just don't need in your life :o)

10 comments:

  1. Great imagery here, Hannah! Thanks so much for sharing this!

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  2. Glad you found a system that works for you.

    Happy Weekend - Here's to it being headache-free.

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  3. I have an app. that put in my mood for that moment of the day. I have been using it for about 2 years now and my mood is on average a 6/10, which is "okay". I do have days that go higher, all the way up to a 7 (good) and an 8 (very good). I rarely reach a 9 (great) and never a 10 (insanely great). That said, I only fall below a 6 occasionally. I have hit a 5 and all the way down to a 0 but it doesn't happen often. I do wish I could live at an 7. 6 is still hard.

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    1. My therapist talked about something like this and how some people will always have flashes about suicide even when they're both"happy" and healthy I hope I'm not like that but I might be. I think tracking my mood would be useful. Good for you!

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  4. This is definitely great imagery! I like this!

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF