Saturday, April 30, 2016

Z is for Zeal #atozchallenge

This post is part of my first year doing the A to Z Challenge and I happen to be writing under the theme Gratitude: The Things That Keep Me Alive. This is a relevant theme for me as I am struggling with postpartum depression, and also have diagnosed anxiety and bipolar II (just to let you know what's going on with me-it might be pertinent as you read the post below). Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!


Z is for zeal because without zeal I would not be beating back my disorders. Without zeal my husband wouldn't support me with such marvelous affection and care and steadfast bravery and dedication. Without zeal my care providers wouldn't continue month after month to keeping trying to conquer this slippery eel of disease that plagues me. Without zeal my family wouldn't have helped my family keep functioning as I went through all those rounds of ECT.

In case you're foggy on the definition, here's what the dictionary has to say about zeal; great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause of objective.

Now, my husband and I are low on the energy part, and I'm sure my care providers are as well, but somehow the enthusiasm for my cause seems to propel us, day after day in the fight against "Hannah's illness." That means a lot to me. It's hard for me to share my dirty parts, to share this burden with those I love most and don't want to burden, I want to be able to lift them up and cherish and spoil them. I don't want to be the sick one, but right now I am. It's a temporary thing but oh how "temporary" can last longer than you think!

Somehow instead of being a slimy mystery chunk of sludge stuck on the bottom of peoples' shoes weighing them down, I'm a cause. I'm a unifying cause for care and effort and ardor not dismissal or fear or disgust. It's a wondrous thing, a confusing thing, a life saving thing. That is what zeal is capable of.

And so I end this first A to Z Challenge with a little four letter word that packs a lot of punch. With yet another shout out to my wonderful husband and a sweet splash of tears and gratitude for my blogging community and all their support as I slog through a rather messy section in my life's story.

I might not have the same powerful zeal as the hubster everyday, but I'm trying and wonderful people like you help encourage me to keep trying. Thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for being my friends however many thousands of miles away you might be, your electronic hugs sustain me.

Seems like I should be cracking a bottle of champagne over something to commemorate the conclusion of my first A to Z Challenge, but I'll just say thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

<3

3 comments:

  1. I loved every minute of it, Hannah! Thanks for sharing so much about yourself, your life, your lovely family, and for allowing us to tag along on your journey!

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  2. Happy to share! Thanks for the hugs!

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF