Sunday, May 1, 2016

A to Z, Farewell Fun Enterprise!

Today is May Day and the end of 2016's "A to Z Challenge."


It was my first time undertaking the challenge and I very much enjoyed myself. Not all of the letters were as simple or inspiring as others but I made ends meet and felt good about my theme and my writing; from "A" all the way to "Z" ;o)

My theme, by the way, was Gratitude: The Things That Keep Me Alive. Little did I know how relevant this would become after April 11th when I made an attempt on my life (my first true suicide attempt in a long career of depression and mental health struggles).

Thankfully we're keeping a much closer eye on my medications and my ECT treatment taper now. The hubby is especially cautious whenever I'm withdrawn or quiet and I'm grateful for his concern and care.

Some might say that it's attention-seeking writing so openly about this, but for me it's a political act against the stigma of mental health issues and the extreme isolation they cause. I do not think I'm some attention whore seeking "oohs and aahs," but rather a hurting soul sharing her story so that others struggling with their own pain might feel encouraged to speak up or reach out for help, companionship, reassurance, encouragement, or simply a listening ear.

It's not a bad thing to ask for exactly what you need and if anyone reading this contacts me with specific concerns, please feel free to include a phrase along the lines of, "I just need some reassurance" or "I just need to know that I'm not alone" or "I just need a few kind words to keep me going," because you wouldn't be the only one, the first one, or the last to need a little something to help you along your way-and I would be happy to provide that support if I possibly could!

*sigh* It's such a hard road sometimes. I know that many of my readers understand this completely. It's such a hard road sometimes. Sometimes it's wonderful and beautiful and rewarding, and sometimes it's a challenge just to make it out of bed but we're not alone in this and I think that this is one very important thing that the challenge did for me, was remind me that I'm not alone in my struggles.

Sure, mine are unique, but they are also shared in a certain way among thousands of my comrades and it's good to remember that every time I survive one more day I survive not just for myself and my family and my friends but all those people struggling with the same diseases and diagnoses that I so often conceal from the world and try to ignore. We're all battling these things together. As we survive, we honor each other's value and lives through our existence.

Yeah, this is dramatic but I think it's very true. Nothing matters until we decide it matters and there is increasing push toward valuing and encouraging quality living no matter what our disease, which is a very beautiful thing in a sometimes heartless world.

So I bid farewell to this year's "A to Z Challenge" and my theme of Gratitude: The Things That Keep Me Alive by calling our attention to these heavy, important, challenging topics one more time and taking with me for the long haul a new comfort level in discussing my personal story and my personal pain more openly on my blog than I may have before this challenge in the hopes of helping just one other soul on their journey to wellness... and helping myself live well for myself and my family as well!

Be well, everyone, and thank you for reading.

11 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. Here's to many more good days, and far less crap-out-the-ass, ones.

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    1. Cheers to that! and thanks for reading :o)

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    2. Sure thing. Thanks for posting :-)

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  2. Yay for small steps and good days. With more to come.
    And the knowledge that we never are alone on the dark paths. Our own paths it is true, but there are a LOT of us on them.

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    1. So true, our own paths but a darkness shared. Well said!

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  3. I am overwhelmingly happy to see you survived the Challenge. That's true on so many levels, is it not? I thank God you have a loving and attentive spouse to help you on your journey. I could tell you the obvious things that I'm sure you know: nothing last forever, not even the bad and you'd only hurt the ones who really love you. But I think perhaps that pep talk chat only helps someone who comes up
    against one moment of hopelessness. For those suffering through actual, clinical conditions and ailments, they are bound to echo like empty platitudes. I don't see you as an attention hound. I see you as someone fighting for their life back and wanting desperately to pull others who are hurting up and out of the flood of despair with them.
    Barbara
    Visit me at
    Life & Faith in Caneyhead

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    1. Thank you Barbara. Your support and reassurance is helpful and doesn't ring hollow, don't worry. I'm glad to hear that I come across like I aim to and that my message is received :o) Thank you for reading and commenting <3

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  4. You're so right Hannah. We have to share our truth, write ourselves whole. We have to choose and choose again every day to hold on to something that matters, whatever it is. You are so loved.

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  5. Hannah,
    Congratulations on seeing this Challenge through and thank you for all you've shared in the year I've been reading here. The world needs people to speak their truth about living with mental health issues just as we do for others living with disabilities or other chronic conditions. Though everyone has their own path to healing and acceptance, we share more similarities than differences. Continued hugs to you and thanks for your kind remarks on my last post.

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    1. You are welcome and thank you for reading and commenting here! Onward we go, onward!

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF