Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Words for Wednesday

I am doing "Words for Wednesday" this week no matter what words poop out-it's just happening, folks! I'm just going with it!

I got the prompts from Elephant's Child this week and I believe they will be posted on her blog all this month:

First set-
1. Stop
2. Can
3. Boiling
4. Knotty
5. Scrape
6. Competition

Second set-
1. Tasty
2. X-ray
3. Bone
4. Aunt
5. Gabby
6. Stay

The phrase for the week-
Our precious hours are trickling away...

I liked the first set best and worked from those words but you are welcome to use the prompts however you see fit, all words and phrases or one it just doesn't matter as long as it gets you writing :o)

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Inhaling through my nose and sighing deeply while exhaling through my mouth I let my shoulders slump, trying to relax my muscles and stop the waves of anxiety from sweeping me up in a panic attack. Swirls of tension erupted from my belly, flooding my mind and narrowing my vision as racing thoughts hijacked my brain. I felt a little lightheaded and disoriented but quickly recognized my familiar symptoms and lept into combat with strategic thoughts and coping skills.

"There's a thought," I said to myself as I freaked out at the prospect of messing up the cross stitch I was working on. "It's just a thought. This isn't a competition. I'm doing a good job. Even if I mess up a few squares it'll turn out fine."

Observing the receding tension in my body I forced a small smile onto my face and praised myself for the calming words and soothing sighs. I turned my attention away from the worries and negative physical feelings, focusing instead on the colors of thread at my fingertips and the sound of water boiling in my electric kettle just around the corner in my kitchen. I noticed my mind attempting to refocus on the anxiety again but turned my thoughts toward the smell of coffee grounds and anticipating the hot brew I would have in a few minutes.

My anxiety was triggered this time by a simple concern about stitching in the right spot. What would be a fleeting, nearly meaningless thought for some was an episode of major discomfort and potential crisis for me. Luckily the coping skills I was learning through therapy made the crises less and less frequent as I learned to navigate through my anxious episodes without succumbing to panic. I sighed again and thought of my dimming vision and the waves of panic I had felt building in my body, it had been a close scrape but I avoided a full-fledged attack!

"Oh, good grief!" I grumbled as my thread jerked awkwardly out of my needle's eye. Flipping over my stiff aida fabric, I found a knotty mess of thread gathered at the back where I just attempted to complete a stitch. It was actually a blessing in disguise, I thought, a chance to focus on untangling some thread was a good opportunity to refocus my mind away from the ineffective anxiety.

Smiling to myself I took to untangling the mess of knots while internally cheering myself on to happier thoughts. "Anxiety might be impossible to completely avoid but it's not necessarily impossible to cope with," I thought and grinned with a sense of victory while feelings of pride and contentment replaced my anxious feelings. "I can do this. One moment at a time, I can do this."

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Whew. I wrote! It was weird for me writing in first person but that's just where things went this time, hope it isn't too awful a reading experience! While this is a fictional account the coping skills and events are based on real life and this is very similar to how I have coped through multiple anxious spells... I was going to write about a full-fledged panic attack but it was causing me to much anxiety ( ha! ) so I will have to do that some other time.

Happy writing to everyone!


4 comments:

  1. Not an awful reading experience at all. Quite the opposite. You took me along with you. Thank you. And cheers and high tens.

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  2. You did a nice job of working those words into your writing about anxiety feelings. It is evident that you are learning to handle them.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, that means a lot :o)

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF