Friday, October 28, 2016

Don't Fear The Progress

I now have "Don't Fear The Reaper" stuck in my head. D'oh!

Anyways-the progress I'm referring to in the title is my TMS taper. Yesterday was my last appointment for an entire month (assuming things go well). I'm a little nervous about going without some sort of treatment (TMS or ECT) and having such an open schedule but I also recognize that I've made a lot of progress and that I'm probably stronger than I think. And even though I'm not doing TMS or ECT all the time anymore I'm still working with medications and DBT skills/therapy-so I'm not totally out in the cold by any means!

The taper from 5x/week to 3x/week to 2x/week to 1x/week went pretty well-better than I expected for sure. I definitely need to find things to pop into my schedule and keep myself busy but I have gym classes and I also know that I'll be signing up for an online course through the community college soon and I'm looking forward to that.

I'm nervous and a bit frightened but I can also see that I'm making progress and that taking yet another step in the right direction is a good thing. It's okay to be afraid sometimes and I'm still building up my confidence.

So that's the news. Still staying the course, still plugging along.

OH! I can't remember if I mentioned or not that I managed to bring up the issues I was having with my therapist and we were able to talk through some things. I now feel much more comfortable piping up about how I'm feeling and as of right now I think things are going to be all right. I still reserve the right to change therapists if I need to at some point in the future but as it is I think we were able to reach a better place. She was very helpful last week during our session when I was having a very down day and I was very grateful for that....

Anyways. I haven't been feeling 100% physically, little sore throat and coughing, so I'm going to brew some hot beverage and cuddle up for some TV time (another mini-challenge for myself trying to relax into watching some TV without my brain going haywire).

Happy Friday to everyone!


15 comments:

  1. Have a wonderful weekend.
    Yes you are making progress. Huge progress and the fact that your brain is allowing you to see that is wonderful. It isn't very long ago that it would have convinced you that you can't do anything right. Hooray for being able to mute the liar.
    Hugs.

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    1. Thank you-a very good point that I'm trying to remember! Hugs right back :o)

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  2. Hope your throat feels better soon. Do you ever drink turmeric, ginger, lemon, honey and cinnamon? I love it when I'm getting a sore throat. Or ginger, lime and honey. Holy wow, I love those cups of yummies.

    Not sure if those would help you, but I'm putting it out there.

    Keep up the great work!

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    1. I've been taking lemon, ginger, and honey and really like that combo-pretty similar and oh so tasty

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  3. Shutting out that voice in your head that tries to defeat you is a great step. I always pictured painting black.

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    1. It's tough but I'm trying-it seems to help when I can label the bad thoughts as the disease talking but still challenging at times, although I hope it will get easier and easier!

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  4. Relaxing with a little TV sounds great. Watching old sitcom reruns always brings a me a smile. When Susan mentioned painting the voice black that is trying to defeat you reminds me of some things my son did when he was younger. When he was about 7, we went to Disney World and some of the rides scared him. He had trouble sleeping that night because of all of the images he had playing in his head. First he took a pencil to bed with him so he could erase the bad thoughts that came into his head. However, I wouldn't let him sleep with the sharp pointed pencil, so next he took the TV remote to bed with him so he could change the channel in his head when the bad thoughts came in. I was pretty impressed with how he was handling things for himself. I hadn't thought about this in years. I think I'm going to use his techniques for myself sometime. There's great symbolism in it.

    Hope you're feeling better. I just got over a cold myself.

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    1. Wow, that's really creative of him-I'm impressed too!

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  5. Have a wonderful weekend, Hannah! I hope your throat feels better soon. Take care of you!

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  6. Your progress continues is amazing, Hannah. I think the last one to see or acknowledge progress when it comes to mental illness is the person herself. I am just so damn proud of you!
    It's that time of the year. Having a child around the house makes you susceptible to so many other viruses. Is BB sick? Hope you feel better soon. xo

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    1. Thank you Birdie. It's so hard for me to acknowledge the progress!

      BB isn't sick but he was a couple weeks ago. I think I may have picked this up at the gym as it seems a bit different than what he and the hubbo had. Who knows? Just hope it passes soon!

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  7. Replies
    1. Appreciating it as always! Thanks :o)

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  8. I know I left a comment here before but I'll just add more hugs to you!

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF