Friday, January 13, 2017

Bumpy and Confusing

No, I'm not talking about a skin condition! I'm talking about a few of my days this week being bumpy and confusing.

It all started out with a bit of snit between me and the hubby. He was hangry and I was feeling confrontational. It was a little fun arguing (we don't do that very often) but it was also out of my comfort zone. It's difficult for me to argue without taking things personally and exacerbating insecurities. We worked through things but I was left shaken and off balance.

The next day was rough for me. I started noticing my mood sliding and negative self talk flaring up. The hubs and I talked more and tried to work through it but I was down. No question about it. The confusing part? I was down without being bottomed out. It was a feeling bad without feeling suicidal, hopeless, or having the urges to harm myself-it was a more normal down. I had a bad day without having a crisis!

In a way it was good to be able to just feel bad and not feel in crisis, but it was definitely odd and confusing for me. I took things a bit easier and tried to simply experience the emotions without overthinking and worrying about a relapse. It was tough, a little scary, but I made it.

I remembered to use my DBT skills along the way. Even reached out to a gym instructor to help battle back some of the negative self talk I was experiencing. (I was beating myself up for my chunky legs and not having perfect form or working the right muscle groups 100% of the time-classic Hannah hating on Hannah/perfectionism stuff)  It really helped hearing that I'm doing a good job and it was also really helpful to connect with someone instead of feeding feelings of not belonging and isolating like I was inclined to do.

So here I am Friday after a few rough days feeling like I'm coming outta the woods with a new victory to add to my books. I can have bad days without it being a crisis, or dangerous. I can experience emotions without things getting out of control! It's okay to take it easy sometimes and let things work out.

I can.

Booyeah!


In other news, it's been way cold and icy here. I'm over all the windshield scraping and slick parking lots! We don't usually have this many days below freezing and it's getting old! It's not normal for 40 degrees to feel warm, at least in our neighborhood.


Wishing everyone a happy and pleasantly warm weekend :o)

14 comments:

  1. Definitely a new victory. A huge one. Bad days happen and they don't have to be catastrophes.
    Yay you. And hugs. And high manys.

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    1. Thanks Sue! Hugs and high manys-woo hoo!

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  2. I'm sorry that you had a couple of bad days, but also glad that you got to realize you can have a bad day or two and handle them without a crisis. That's almost as important as a good day, but not as much fun.

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  3. Wow...wonderful insight and further success. Yay!

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  4. I like the way you are able to recognize and analyze what is happening with you, dear Hannah, and I think this is a very good thing. I tend to take things personally as well at times, so I understand this. I think you are doing very well and I think that even your bad days are not as bad as they used to be. You have come a long way! Yes! :)

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  5. Good stuff, Hannah. You are amazing! Be proud. Have a wonderful weekend!

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    1. Thanks Martha! Hope you had a good weekend too :o)

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  6. So very happy that you know "It's okay to take it easy sometimes and let things work out."

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    1. Thanks Annie :o) I'm learning! Each and everyday

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF