Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Thoughtful Thursday Moment


I was browsin' ye olde internet the other day and I read this on Marisa Tomei's Wikipedia page: Tomei said in 2009, "I'm not that big a fan of marriage as an institution, and I don't know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings."

It really resonated with me and got me thinking.

At CrossFit I had a conversation with another gal about kids. She just had her 2nd a few months ago and she was asking me about how my tubal ligation procedure went and how bad it felt. Apparently she's ready to stop. Two is enough. Her husband is saying no, he wants two more.

It was an interesting peek into the relationship dynamics of another couple. She revealed a dose of sass and some anger that seemed a bit surprising. Don't get me wrong, I never thought she was a completely placid woman, she just tends to carry herself in a rather meek fashion. Like me, she's skeptical of her abilities in class and tends to underestimate herself. She tends to be quiet and seems the type to avoid conflict.

Anywho. Hearing her talk about these feelings and feeling the frustration in her voice as she talked about her husband... it stirred something in my brain, hell, in my heart and soul too. 

ASIDE: Not so much in regards to my relationship with the hubster-we've almost always been on the same page with reproductive issues and he is very respectful of my rights. Even with the hubster, there are times when I have to point out where the line is-where my rights end and begin. I suppose that can be a challenge with any type of right or philosophical concept. It seems to me that it's much more easily forgotten when it comes to women or minorities and so forth.

Having a woman choose how many kids she wants to have all on her own? Inconceivable. (Pun intended)

I feel like there's stigma in the first world about women's reproductive choice on such a wide spectrum (in or out of marriage)-not to mention all the places around the world where women don't have a say at all... there's so much to say about it my brain is shorting out! I think just putting this here is enough for now.


Thoughts? Feelings? Experiences? 


12 comments:

  1. Oh yes.
    I have no children which I regret. However I have often heard 'Not having children is selfish'. Which does my head in. Who has children for altruistic reasons? Not many people I suspect.
    And yes, the rights of women and minority groups are often run roughshod over.

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    1. I don't like that claim either! Selfish my ass. I don't think parenthood is completely selfless either. Life ain't black and white, a lot of people sure like lookin' at things that way though!

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  2. As in right now with the pending Trumpcare bill and defunding of Planned Parenthood and other lack of access issues...Good for you for thinking about this, Hannah!

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    1. So painful to see that happening! As it has been I don't think enough people take enough responsibility for themselves or educate themselves when it comes to sexual/reproductive health stuff. Def feels like we're going backwards. So much fear, hate, and greed I feel.

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  3. Yep. My thoughts are all a jumble, too. I'm just glad a didn't have to deal with the different idea on the number of children with my husband. I've often wondered how people work out that difficult issue. However, in the end, I think the woman gets to chose what happens to her body.

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    1. Ideally I think women should get to choose what happens to their body, I just don't see it happening as often as I'd like. I want our rights, ideas, and opinions to be respected and valued more than they are and I hope to see women continue to become more and more empowered to take charge of their lives!

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  4. I had an auntie who bore 13 children. In the mid-1970s after she had the last one, the doctors told her another pregnancy would kill her and so recommended getting her tubes tied. In those days in Canada (but not any more), this procedure also legally required the husband's consent. She consented, but my uncle would not, the bastard. But (probably because the situation was life-and-death), the doctors ignored the legal requirements and tied her tubes on her consent alone.

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    1. WOW! Just wow. Very glad the doctors made an exception for her.

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  5. One person's rights end where another's begin. Sounds simple, but can be so hard to define. I don't think it is right or wrong to have children, but I do think it is wrong to force abortion and sterilization. I think husbands and wives have to agree when it comes to children. They are supposed to be committed to one another for life. It is just as wrong for a woman to categorically deny her spouse a child as it is for a man to demand a woman produce a child.
    Visit me @ Life & Faith in Caneyhead. 😉

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    1. I can't imagine being in a relationship being on such opposite wavelengths. Forced abortion and sterilization sounds horrific.

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  6. My ob/gym was Catholic. He did not think we should stop at two children because we were successful and educated and persons who could not afford children and who were not educated, were having many. HUH? My husband (at the time) had a vasectomy anyway after our second child. I changed doctors because I felt like he was going after more money from us... "Pro choice" means a lot of things.

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  7. These are important discussions between couples. And they can lead to all sorts of relationship problems if you're not on the same page. It would be better to discuss having children before making a commitment, so everyone knows where they stand. That being said, I do believe that a woman has the right to decide what happens to her body.

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF