Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Wow, Got Dark Fast!

No, I'm talking about weather or the night sky, I'm referring to my February 10th.

I posted on the 9th about my symptoms and how I've been feeling but the next day I felt pretty down about it all. I think going back for a midwifery appointment when I'd rather be going in ready to have a baby ruffled my feathers, or another day of feeling like a back alley beating victim was just the last straw, whatever the reason my mood got dark pretty fast yesterday.

By evening time I was near tears and sulking about, lying in bed wondering why I felt so shitty despite understanding the frustrations of late pregnancy-the classic logical crevasse between feelings and thoughts that can make depressive moods so slimy.

Somehow I made it through the night without baking and eating a cake or an entire batch of cookies, though the sweet temptations were running through my brain like crazy. I think part of my increased susceptibility to poor eating lately has to do with slipping on my sugar consumption and reawakening an addiction coupled with feeling so crappy and veering into the land of comfort eating. It ain't fun. Fighting those demons (for fear of my own health and a Jabba the Hut baby to boot) and trying to cope with my piss poor moods and lack of appetite has sucked.

I went to bed feeling pretty bad last night and woke up feeling dejected. I stared into the ether for a while before getting up and making myself some ramen around 6:20 am to eat while I watched local news and traffic and sat with my heating pad and Fio. Thankfully I was able to return to bed and sleep from 7:00 am, waking up twice but resting pretty well until 9:40 am, just in time for Fio's potty break before The Price is Right (my saving grace lately... food might not motivate me to get outta bed but I will definitely get moving to catch my game show haha).

That early "nap" or "make up sleep" seemed to do the trick. I didn't have an appetite today but my mood definitely perked up after that morning sleep and I was able to get about my day with a new outlook.

I guess things can lighten up just as quickly as they can darken, huh?

2 comments:

  1. What is your due date? Think of it this way. This day next month you will have a baby. Oh, how sweet it will be. Exhausting but very sweet.

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  2. Due date is the 22nd, so focusing on "this time next month" is a great tool! That actually calms me down a bit just thinking about it-helps me focus on savoring these last few days/weeks as just the hubster and me :) Such a huge unknown I'm headed toward, I'm counting on that "exhausting but very sweet" bit!

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Be well, HBF