Thursday, May 7, 2015


Bouncing back. I'm feeling better about our moving prospects and calming down overall but the whole episode has made me think about my resiliency and coping better with stress...

I hate to be a burden but more than that I just don't want to feel like shit anytime a challenge comes along. It totally hijacks my day, affects the hubbo and Baby, it's just no fun.

In better news, Baby is sleeping a 6-hour block at night lately. It's crazy. I feel like he's already growing up too fast. It's worse than watching birthday flowers fade watching the newborn shine fade from him!

I've already pondered existence quite a bit thanks to my mental health issues but parenthood has definitely made death and life mean more, brought clarity to my ponderings and really grounded my beliefs. Like most people I've explored religion but the past few years I really settled into atheism and somehow having a baby solidified it for me. It's kinda funny considering how much faith having a baby takes, all that faith in a Faithless person-makes me smirk.

Big difference between lowercase faith and uppercase Faith. I think it's important to note that Faithless people can live with a lot of faith, in fact I think faith is essential to human life. Part of being human is the burden of these big ole brains making us aware of what could happen, without faith we'd be crippled by that awareness. So I have faith and despite not believing in any higher order I feel like a pretty spiritual person.

I think working on my faith will help with my resiliency.

Aahhh... Watching "Louie" and this episode had Robin Williams. *teary* I think it's lovely that just seeing him makes me sad but happy and grateful all at once. That's a worthy goal in life, to be a cherished memory, to be remembered well... Closest thing to "heaven" I think.

Holy crap. It's only 8 AM. I woke up at 6 AM thinking it was 10 AM. Boy howdy am I gonna crash hard later!


  1. I had not even read to the second line and I was thinking that you are more resilient and coping much better. Keep it up!

    Do you meditate?

    1. I don't meditate but it's on my radar, I have done some tai chi chuh and mindfulness in the past and meditation has always remained on the "to-do" but never quite gotten done!

  2. There is an app that I use that I highly recommend. It is called Buddhify. They are just short meditations that you can do anytime of the day or night.

  3. I will definitely check this out, thanks!


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Be well, HBF