I read a friend's summing up of her 2015 and it got me thinking about my year.
I've been feeling so shitty for so long I forgot about the wonderful months that kicked off 2015.
Being joyously albeit physically uncomfortably pregnant in January and most of February. The amazing birth of my son and the wonderful first few months that transformed us into a family and brought my husband and me closer than ever before. So many firsts and so many little, glorious moments when I felt like I was finally doing what I was meant to do, that I had done something so right it could justify a lifetime.
And then the sneaky slide in late spring that turned into a pained summer and a crashing rock bottom by August. Swathes of my memories are warped or erased from the fall, the winter bad still with the only relief in hiding away from the first family that had once seemed like my only support.
It was a confusing and painful year for the most part, but those first few months were amazing (I think a bit of that was due to hypomania, but still).
Here we go 2016. Here we go medication. Here we go, finding ME again.