This weeks prompts are:
If only this were all a prank
Cruel but with a tidy beginning and defined end
Then I could retreat into your arms and recover
Confident that I was safe
Safe in the light of sanity
Away from the hostility of my mind
But my illness only recedes to return again
Like a tide without rhythm
Teasing and taunting
I corral what waves I can and ride out the rest
Trying to contain the misery
When I can't it feels like a crime
I regret the pain I've shared
I know that it wasn't my intent
It wasn't my fault
It was the disease that I host
The disease that I fight
That ugly part in me which is so near yet so far from who I am
But who I am continues to fight
Who I am continues to love
Who I am endures
Ugh! Poetry is not my thing. I'm not sure why I went this route but it was the only bit of inspiration that I had to work with relating to those words, so here we are. Tried to come up with a title but it wasn't happening.
I wrote something and that's good enough! I'm letting it go!
In other news, I'm doing all right today. Had a good, challenging gym class this morning and despite having my routine be off with the TMS taper in gear I think I'm doing a good job of surfing the anxiety waves and ookey feelings and trying to keep a good attitude about it all. *knock on wood*
The hubster is back at work and helping out with Baby Bananaface again although he's not quite 100% yet. I woke up with a little scratchy throat and am nervous that I'm next, but we shall see! I usually avoid coming down with these things and it's only the boys so hopefully I get another pass.
Still nervous and wary about feeling better. Afraid of relapses or anxiety spikes or panic attacks, but trying to reassure myself that I can handle it and continue to press forward. I even attended an information session about phlebotomy training at the community college (had some tears and fears and anxiety but I survived) and am planning on taking some courses and steps along that path... Little overwhelming now, but I think I can build up to it and get through the scared feelings to a better place in time.
Baby steps are still steps! *fist pump*