For many months I've struggled to watch or enjoy any TV or movies. If it wasn't the material triggering me or being emotionally overwhelming, my anxiety made it impossible to sit through and focus on the show. There were even times when just sitting down for a movie gave my depressed mind an open playing field for my negative and even, at times, suicidal thoughts.
The hubbo and I hadn't been able to sit down and watch something together-and truly relax-for quite a while. Last week and this weekend we were finally able to again! It was a simple pleasure, but a great time and a huge sign of progress for me.
I have to stick mostly to romantic comedies, comedies, classics, or light action (too much drama or violence and I can get scary dreams or over-stressed) but we're able to chillax and enjoy a movie together again and I'm so glad.
The hubster works hard to provide for our family and take care of me and Baby Bananaface, so he really appreciates the down time. For many moons I wasn't able to relax enough or cope with the shows-we played board or card games to keep me distracted. It was sometimes tiring or just too much for the hubster after a long day of work, cooking, and childcare.
Anywho. I've been feeling really good about this and even a bit proud. I hope to keep building my resiliency and watching more flicks that I know I enjoyed at one point in my life. Maybe I'll even test the waters with some new ones... any suggestions are much appreciated!
In other news, I wore some of the new clothes I acquired last month. A shirt my sister found for me while we were shopping and a skirt that my mom gave me for Christmas. It feels good to put an outfit together and actually put forth some effort getting dressed to go out. For so long I've just been throwing on the layers and baggy clothes, hiding in the folds and skulking about-but things are changing. Hell, I even blew dry my hair today!
Here's a pic from this weekend:
Yes, I'm rocking the sippy cup and snack bowl from BB's afternoon snack ;o)
I'm still experiencing anxiety and pretty often feel myself on the precipice of panic attacks, but more and more I'm riding the waves and utilizing those coping skills. I may not ever be symptom-free, but I'm certainly feeling more confidence about being able to cope and survive.
Happy Monday everyone, I hope y'all had good weekends too!