I'm still in that weird in-between where I can refer to my home here in Utah as "home" yet I still think/say "back home in Washington."
Back in Washington the restrictions are coming down again. 25% capacity in stores and the other rules from March. Toilet paper and food is starting to disappear again. Here we have a statewide mask mandate but restaurants are still open. My school is still in-person but I have no idea for how much longer. Apparently our case numbers are climber dangerously close to the percentile that requires us to shut down.
Schools up north have been online for weeks and will be. As far as I know if we shut down it's just for the mandatory two weeks. No statewide order for online school yet-I wonder if there will ever be one. Will we be constantly waiting for the magic number and taking two weeks here-and-there? Or will they shut us down for the rest of the year at some point? I hate the unknowns.
School has been going relatively well but I still can't get my class to talk. It's awful sitting there (or standing) and talking to a wall of silence. So awkward... and then I imagine an administrator visiting and seeing that. That's going to be awful for me.
In other news, there is more drama with my sister. Did I mention on here that she texted me about antidepressants and anxiety? She was feeling so low about her physical appearance that she was getting all sorts of anxiety in social situations, just not wanting to let anyone see her I think. Frustrated that she couldn't seem to lose any weight. Well, she got on some medication for a couple of weeks, but has since decided to have another baby. So she's off the meds and trying.
Not sure how it'll feel for me. I'm not feeling pregnancy envy-yet. I had a little bit because of some recent births on Facebook friends' feeds. As far as my sister though, I think I just feel something like, "What the hell? You say you ain't got your shit together so having another baby is your answer?" It's even worse considering she kicked her husband out the house for chewing tobacco this week. You can't even have your husband in the house and you're trying for a kid? Wow. Just wow.
I feel like part of her is just doing it for the high. Being able to surprise the parents with the pregnancy announcement. All the purchases. The gender reveal. The birth. The newborn. But then what? More baby weight. More stress. Potentially worse depression and anxiety. And the added responsibility of an infant when you already have a 5 year old and a toddler. I'm worried. I always had a hunch she'd go for a third but I didn't think it'd be like this. Who could?
Anyway. That's a little bit of what's going on. Also, enjoying the Christmas tree and music. We got some snow last week and that was nice. Hoping for more but not a real snow storm just yet.
Sending love and hugs into the universe. I know people need it with this Covid surge of cases, deaths, and stress.
Be well :o)
