Friday, February 27, 2015


29 hours of labor, 22 inches, 10 pounds 1 ounce, BOY! Born 8:02 am February 27th :) More to follow....

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

One Crampy Zeppelin

Today wasn't a spectacular day but it went pretty well (other than falling asleep with my head lolling around so I woke up a little sore in the neck). I think yesterday's appointment with my favorite midwife and student midwife really helped my mood so today I didn't feel quite as overwhelmed and moody.

Still pregnant but I was able to focus on relaxing instead of agonizing. At the grocery store an employee struck up a conversation about my very obvious pregnancy and when asked "How far along are you?" I replied "All the way." Thankfully the ladies that ask me about it are pretty understanding when I say that I was due a few days ago, offering encouragement instead of focusing on the negatives...

And with that my energy for the day is spent! Hoping I can get a little more sleep tonight than last night but I won't hold my breath. Those potty breaks every 3 hours are just getting more and more difficult-makes me feel like a hippo with a turtle shell trying to get outta bed anymore!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Still Pregnant

Yep. Still pregnant.

Trying to focus on the positives and enjoying my last days as part of a family of 2 but I'm losing my grip...

The last few days I've been more emotional and unstable, going from perfectly fine to utterly despairing in no time. Emotionally and physically I feel like I'm nearing a breaking point and the frustration is only exacerbated by my internal criticism and awareness that I'm well within normal limits and could be pregnant for a week or more still.

I also think the anxiety and dwelling thoughts lately triggered extra fear as I am reminded of my mental health history, kinda makes things worse having past episodes haunting me... Gonna try to take it easier on myself and focus on staying relaxed-and getting some sunshine.

Oh, and avoiding dairy. Me and too much dairy equals a concrete factory and this weekend things got a little outta hand with ice cream and chocolate milk and such! What a cherry for the top of my cranky-ass sundae!

Today I woke up in a pretty low mood but my mom came up for a visit since I've been feeling down and it was good to be kept busy and have someone to shoot the breeze with and decompress with today. We hung around home for a little bit, I made bran muffins, then we walked about some shops for a bit before ending up at the mall for lunch because I couldn't figure out what I wanted so we opted for a food court. My hands swelled up while we were walking around but a little sit down and water and I was back to normal pretty fast.

It was a good visit and even though no one knows when I'll have my baby it was nice to hear Mom say "don't worry, it won't be much longer!" She thinks I'll have a baby by this weekend and I sure hope she's right.

This picture pretty much captures it all....

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Belly Cast Project

Quite a few stages but here's the belly cast including the initial cast, trim, smoothing finish, sanding, base coat, and then all the little painting stages I spread out over the last 10 days or so. 

The hubster got more attached to the project than we expected so he got to chime in on the design a bit too-we ended up mushing together "galactic/night sky/constellations" and "mandalas" and "labyrinth" and "bright colors, like purple and orange" though I refused to add a squirrel or portrait of Millie...

Believe it or not we still have a couple stages to go-the hubster has to spray a clear coat on the inside of the cast and the front and we have to rig up a system to hang it on the wall.

I wasn't quite sure how I wanted it to turn out and while I love certain aspects I'm not sure if I'm supremely happy with the entire piece... Though I'm never thrilled with any of my crafts so I guess being satisfied is about as good as it gets!

As for the hubby he was surprised to find the whole project more interesting than he initially expected and "not just for hippy-dippy types." He's a fan of the paint job and likes the sparkly/metallic parts :)

In other news, we had a midwifery appointment today and while I was feeling pretty pissy due to more Facebook "any baby yet?" nags I felt a lot better hearing that baby was in a better position and a bit lower this week.

Still day-by-day, anybody's guess when baby will arrive!

Sunday, February 15, 2015

A Lovely Weekend

My birthday was Friday, yes, "Friday the 13th" and no, that doesn't bother me. I actually feel extra special when my birthday lands on a Friday regardless of superstitious allusions.

Anyways! It was a great birthday. I had a good day at home and enjoyed the Valentine's Day special for The Price is Right, painted on the belly cast, even got some chores done before the hubster got home early and surprised me with flowers. We enjoyed our afternoon before getting dressed up for dinner at our favorite Indian place. My parents met us there and even though it was a little out of their comfort zone we had a great time and they enjoyed the food-especially the butter chicken and tandoori.

After dinner they came up for games, coffee or beer, and cake. I won both games! I was pretty surprised but if my dad hadn't been playing so fast and loose with made up words on Scrabble he probably would've beat me... On the other hand, Ticket to Ride was a bit of a slaughter. I swear playing with the blue cars makes me sneakier, like no one is threatened by the pretty blue and I chug under the radar. Before you ask if they let me win because it was my birthday and I'm "in a delicate condition," think again. We're pretty cutthroat, won't even give ya a game if you're the one in the hospital!

Saturday was Valentine's Day so the hubby and I made chocolate chip pancakes only to discover we had no clean forks (the dishwasher hadn't gotten run the night before). He gave me the last plastic emergency fork from the closet while he spooned his pancakes and I thought of it as a funny Valentine's Day gift of sorts. It was a slow Saturday for us and the abundance of food from the previous night's dinner made for a bountiful and delicious lunch while our mushroom alfredo dinner was easy and delicious as well.

We always exchange cards but this year I shook things up and got the hubster a Valentine's Day gift. Nothing major, just a custom mug from Shutterfly. It has a picture of us with the bump and the ultrasound picture and it says "No one else I'd rather share a foxhole with" and "Love ya, hun! Valentine's Day 2015." Other than that, we just approach the day with a little more romance and cheer and try not to overdo it on sweets :)

It had been quite a while since I felt so relaxed, but Saturday was delightful. Today seems to be following suit and the beautiful weather is only upping the ante. So very nice to have such a lovely weekend... Almost made me forget about the baby in my belly ready to drop at any moment!

Here's a bump shot from Friday... I think the odd face kinda captures the complex mood of the moment, happy but a little wore out with a dash of cranky!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Wow, Got Dark Fast!

No, I'm talking about weather or the night sky, I'm referring to my February 10th.

I posted on the 9th about my symptoms and how I've been feeling but the next day I felt pretty down about it all. I think going back for a midwifery appointment when I'd rather be going in ready to have a baby ruffled my feathers, or another day of feeling like a back alley beating victim was just the last straw, whatever the reason my mood got dark pretty fast yesterday.

By evening time I was near tears and sulking about, lying in bed wondering why I felt so shitty despite understanding the frustrations of late pregnancy-the classic logical crevasse between feelings and thoughts that can make depressive moods so slimy.

Somehow I made it through the night without baking and eating a cake or an entire batch of cookies, though the sweet temptations were running through my brain like crazy. I think part of my increased susceptibility to poor eating lately has to do with slipping on my sugar consumption and reawakening an addiction coupled with feeling so crappy and veering into the land of comfort eating. It ain't fun. Fighting those demons (for fear of my own health and a Jabba the Hut baby to boot) and trying to cope with my piss poor moods and lack of appetite has sucked.

I went to bed feeling pretty bad last night and woke up feeling dejected. I stared into the ether for a while before getting up and making myself some ramen around 6:20 am to eat while I watched local news and traffic and sat with my heating pad and Fio. Thankfully I was able to return to bed and sleep from 7:00 am, waking up twice but resting pretty well until 9:40 am, just in time for Fio's potty break before The Price is Right (my saving grace lately... food might not motivate me to get outta bed but I will definitely get moving to catch my game show haha).

That early "nap" or "make up sleep" seemed to do the trick. I didn't have an appetite today but my mood definitely perked up after that morning sleep and I was able to get about my day with a new outlook.

I guess things can lighten up just as quickly as they can darken, huh?

Monday, February 9, 2015

Waddle Upgrade

Yesterday and today I've had some worsened pains in my hips. Some tendon or muscle or squishy body part that I don't know the name for seems to be more upset than usual. My usual waddles aren't cutting it as far as avoiding pain so I've upped my game and have been taking extra-short steps and waddling a bit extra-ugly to try and manage. Not sure if it's just baby weight messing with me or if the busy weekend got to me, either way I'm taking it slow.

In other pregnancy news I've been feeling more pressure and zingers, more intense Braxton Hicks, cramps, and more gas and gurgles than usual just for good measure. Actually feels like a bad PMS day (which explains all the cookies in the house). Basically I'm slowly working my way toward the "I don't care how I just want this baby out NOW" phase. I'm not quite there, but I feel like I'm on the right path ;)

Oh yeah, this weekend involved some hysteria too! I started laughing myself to tears over a random funny mind blip only to find myself unsettled by some spousal conflict and crying for real the next moment. No worries though, the hubster followed me shortly after I fled the scene and we were able to come back together. We've both been a bit wore out so we've been sensitive and snippy, another sign of late pregnancy I think!

So we're taking things day by day and I'm trying to maintain my cool even as symptoms continue to pile up and I find myself more emotionally compromised than usual. So far I've felt pretty even-keeled as far depressive or hypomanic moods, just the occasional spouts of hormonal rage or tears catching me and the hubbo by surprise. Hoping it's just another sign of impending babyness!

Enough to drive a pregnant lady crazy knowing it could be a couple days or a few weeks til her baby comes!... As if we aren't sensitive enough, Nature had to make us into walking time bombs????

Let the fun times roll on!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Pet Post

It's been a while since I've posted many pictures other than pregnancy shots and I can't remember when I posted about the pets so here is a little guilty pleasure pet post! 

The cats are pretty independent so Fio and I spend quite a bit of time together during the day, which may explain why I have the most pictures of him. This picture is from a few weeks back when he got a new rawhide bone-it hasn't lasted long! There is a nub of one end left so a couple of evenings' good work and he'll have it finished. I didn't think miniature poodles were destructo-dogs but this guy has proven he is bad to bones! ;)

Even if he's a destructive little bugger (we have one stuffy devoid of fluffy guts floating about the house and one ready to be completely disemboweled as well in addition to his nearly destroyed rawhide) he's also a cuddler and loves naps (which works great for me). I don't let him up on the couch very often but this picture is from one rare instance when I invited him up for a snuggle!

It hasn't always been smooth sailing, but the three pets have found peace-at least on sunny days. Fio and Millie will play chase sometimes and all three seem to enjoy barging into the bathroom whenever the door isn't securely shut and there is a vulnerable (AKA seated) victim to be bombarded for pets. They're also devoted co-beggars at the dinner table though Fio will throw any pet-sib under the bus for a table scrap.

Lately, Millie has been enjoying her daytime naps on the bed amid all my extra pregnancy pillows. In fact, she enjoys the pillows so much she's taken to sleeping on me when I'm sleeping with them! Rather interesting waking up with my legs pinned and Millie-the-jailer staring at me with a "well what did you expect?" look. As long as she doesn't start peeing on me I think we'll be okay sharing pillows for a bit longer ;)

Unfortunately I don't have any photos of Iroh to share though the hubster did take a little video of him recently. Iroh turns 13 this month and I think the video was an attempt to insure the eldest pet is memorialized properly!

Even though Iroh is getting up there in years he doesn't seem to be slowing down much. He's been holding steady with his achy hips and thyroid meds, still active (for his age), eating and drinking well. The only fly in the ointment is this annoying wormy issue!

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

February is Finally Here

While I realize that Baby could arrive as late as the first week of March, it really feels like this is the month! 

I haven't had any drastic changes in symptoms but feel the "lightning crotch" zings and zangs, pelvic pressure, light cramps and back pain everyday. Now that I'm here in the final countdown I find myself wobbling between utter calm and walking on eggshells waiting for any sign of labor. It's exciting and sensing the end makes me reflect on the pregnancy as a whole.

Time really does fly when you're pregnant. It seems like the hubbo and I were just talking about babies and making plans and here we are about to experience the realization of all those hypotheticals! No more episodes of baby fever (though I have had fits of hysterical crying for other reasons), no more wondering how I'll cope with the next bout of raging hormones, instead I'm wondering how I'll cope with an infant.

The hubster is getting more and more excited to meet baby whereas I feel nervous. Strangely, I feel most nervous about meeting baby and not the birth. I suppose having been at several births makes me confident in the process and that I'll make it through somehow but meeting baby is another matter. It feels like the first day of school and I'm not sure if I'll make friends. I never thought I would worry about bonding with my baby but here I am, about to meet my baby and wondering if we'll like each other!

I'm also worried about changing from my body taking care of Baby from the inside to taking care of Baby on the outside, in the "real world." I don't have much experience with babies but I do know it's exhausting and having had days with depressive episodes where taking a shower is a monumental task, I can't help but worry about keeping up with a child.

I don't know exactly how things will work out but I feel like my worries are natural and normal. Being pregnant has made me realize how vast changes can take place almost without notice over a length of time. Even with the gradual changes over the last several months I've had days where I felt overwhelmed but then somehow better days came when I adjusted to the new challenges and regained a sense of "normal" and "okay."

Even if I'm a little worried about bonding with baby and tackling motherhood, I think it'll be okay and I hope I can maintain that belief when the going gets rough, or at the very least "just keep swimming" as Dori would say.

Only time will tell what this new phase holds in store, and only time will tell when I'm actually going to pop and get to meet my baby! 

Tick tock....