Sunday, October 12, 2014

Fruit Salad Weekend or Straight Up Rotten Fruit?

Weeks ago my best friend and I were texting/emailing and figuring out when I could pop down for a sleepover and some girl time (she recently moved to OR, south of Portland). We had decided this weekend would work for both of us and it would be my last chance before ornament season really kicks up so we made tentative plans. 

All seemed well. I don't think I'd seen my bestie since last year or at least several months so there were some nerves about meeting again but for the most part I was excited. Then I texted just this week to confirm the plan and she dropped a bombshell. 

She's got a live-in boyfriend. 

Totally made my gut flip and put me out of my comfort zone. I had the impulse to pull up stakes on the plan and evac but decided it was more important for me to see her than to take the comfortable route. I did however shorten the trip from 2 nights to an overnight. Little did I know I would appreciate that decision to no end!

This is how my trip went.

Friday morning I woke up and scrambled to get food, shower, and pack an overnight bag. I managed to take the dog out for a break and get my stuff (including a big pile of pillows) in the car and hit the road just after 9:30 am. By 11:00 am I was in Olympia enjoying a pitstop with my dad. The lunch break and short walk downtown was a big help for my building hip pain. 

Took about 2 1/2 hours from Olympia and I was pretty sore and hungry by the time I arrived, but I got to my bestie's apartment right around 3:00 pm. We went into the apartment and I nervously awaited introduction to the new boyfriend. How'd that go? Well, we gals walked in chatting and she said something like, "Oh yeah, this is Hannah!" and I'm not sure if he looked but I certainly did get any eye contact and he didn't get up from the couch or turn down the blaring Netflix program on the TV. Overall, I was beyond not impressed. I was so sad for my friend and disappointed. 

Unfortunately, my Friday didn't get any better from that point on. Instead of girl time I found myself in the back of a sedan plummeting down the freeway while the boyfriend drove. Weaving, zooming, braking, and generally being a crazy driver by PNW standards. At one point I saw an SUV's ass looming ahead of us and felt primed for a high speed crash. He veered right at the last moment, narrowly avoiding a collision and changing lanes (if you can call it that) as I felt my breath catch and a well of emotion knot in my  throat. "I'm gonna cry." My motherly instincts kicked in big time. I was terrified for my baby's well being; imagining myself in a broken car on the side of the road telling EMTs that I was pregnant. I began sobbing. 

They tried to find me tissues but there were none. I wiped my flood of tears on the fleece sleeve of my jacket while we waited at a clogged stoplight off the freeway (blissfully stuck in traffic). And where to? The tobacco store so the boyfriend could buy cigars. Thankfully there was a stationery store nearby that the bestie and I could visit. While we wandered the small store I asked if she could drive and made sure that he wasn't going to smoke in the car (at that point, who knew?)

We went on to Walmart for their grocery shopping and I was starting to feel sick from hunger so I sipped a chocolate milk while walking the aisles and bought some trail mix for the ride home. I had a tangelo when we got back to the apartment and enjoyed the enchiladas she made for dinner but generally felt like a 3rd wheel and wondered why I had come at all. The boyfriend impressed me further by asking about my air mattress in order to clarify that he didn't need to help set it up. Classy.

After he went to bed, she and I got to chat a little more and we made plans to go to an outlet mall nearby the next day. 

Cue morning.

I awoke around 8:20 am for a potty break and an apple (baby needed brekkie ASAP) and while I tried to go back to bed I couldn't sleep. Over the next 3 hours I ended up pacing the living room to relieve some pelvic pain and kill some time, trying to be quiet but secretly hoping to "accidentally" wake up my hosts as I tried to find a towel so I could shower (found one in the dryer), microwaving my leftovers from lunch with Dad for a much needed though not quite big enough breakfast, packing down my mattress and even loading the car (I really thought opening and closing the slider would do the trick and wake them up, but no luck), and eventually doodling while considering whether or not I should just leave and go to the outlet mall alone. They finally awoke at 11:30 am just as I was finishing a doodle.

Maybe I should've knocked on the door but I felt really uncomfortable. I had made up my mind to leave by 11:00 am if she hadn't woken up, go to the outlet mall and stop by on my way home, but I was enjoying my doodling and they woke up before I felt compelled to leave. It was so out of character for my friend to be such a lackluster hostess, it felt like this guy had corrupted her. About 2 hours into my morning wait I had the thought, "she just does everything by his book, so she ain't coming out til he wakes up and that's that," and wouldn't ya know it, that's how it went. It feels like my friend has been totally swallowed up by this guy!

Eventually she got her coffee made to go, got dressed and we took off for the mall around noon. I went directly to Arby's for breakfast-er, lunch-as I was getting sick-hungry again and then we stopped by her bank so she could get some checks to pay rent. Once we finally hit the mall it felt like old times (but with my concern over her choice of boyfriend looming in the back of my mind) and I found a cute sweater for the baby and we walked through several other stores. After shopping, I gassed up the car then dropped her off at the apartment. Since it was a quarter to 4:00 pm at that point I said I really needed to get going. I kept the car running and we said our goodbyes and hugged in the parking lot. I opted out of going back to the apartment to say goodbye to the boyfriend. 

The ride home went speedily enough but my pregnant pelvis didn't enjoy the hours of driving and the knot in my shoulder (already inflamed from doing ornaments on Thursday) was causing me grief nearly the entire drive. Around 5:30 pm I stopped for food in Centralia and stretched a bit and I managed to get through the stormy Seattle weather and home around 7:40 pm. There was some nice lightning and impressive rain storms but traffic moved pretty well. I was pretty dang tired. 

Thankfully the hubster was aware of how rough the trip was for me and had hot lasagna waiting for me when I got out of the shower. I was so glad to be home!

All in all, I'm glad I went but really disappointed and sad. At least now I won't feel guilt for not having visited but I will never ride in a car with that guy driving again. I certainly don't think I'll be spending any nights there. 

The transformation in my friend is sad and scary. Instead of a tidy, welcoming home that she usually prepares, her apartment is dirty and reminds me of a college dorm. She claims that her boyfriend is sweet and helpful but he seems antisocial and incredibly unimpressive to me. I am so sad and frustrated that she seems to have wound up with another loser. While the whole experience made me very appreciative of my hubby it made me nervous for the future of my friendship with my bestie and for her future relationships. Oh, and that slice of "afraid for my baby's life" that I'll never forget. 

So. Bad trip. Enjoyed visiting Dad, enjoyed the few hours of girl time I actually achieved with my gal pal, but overall, bad, bad trip. Definitely going to plan future pregnant road trips with more pitstops and stretch breaks and food, been underestimating my body's burden lately. Speaking of which, I am definitely bumpin' out!

Selfie alert!
That's as cute as I get on a lazy, recovery Sunday!





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Be well, HBF