Where can I start? There is such a cluster of emotions and thoughts that I'm having a hard time deciding if I'm "okay" or "fine" or "I don't know." At least I know that I'm not "not okay" or "I'm in trouble."
It's just that making such a big decision like moving 800+ miles into a totally new region puts ya in a weird place emotionally! At least for me. It's a little frustrating not having strong feelings either way. I'm excited, sure, but not for everything. I'm scared, but not of everything. I feel good about a move and then have bursts of wanting to crawl back into my little 2 bedroom apartment and stay forever.
The hubs is a bit similar. Not 100% either way. Leaning let's do this thang! and still not exactly gung-ho... where is that from?
TANGENT:
gung-ho
/ˌɡəNGˈhō/
adjective
unthinkingly enthusiastic and eager, especially about taking part in fighting or warfare.
"the gung-ho soldier who wants all the big military toys"
Chinese in origin.
Anyways. Ahem.
I think it's not necessarily a bad thing to feel these types of middling feelings. Feeling 100% either way could be a sign of a severe emotional swing or misguided, unrealistic thoughts. I'm not on top of the world and I'm not creeping along the dark ocean floor. I'm in the middle and it's a new sensation.
Something I do not like is the prospect of renting somewhere without seeing it first. I'm picky and find myself concerned about things like bad caulking or weak shelves. Then there is the very rational concern about not getting a feel for the neighborhood. We're not sure that one of us would be able to come down for just a rental excursion but it might have to happen. There is a chance I'll want to go down early for school registration stuff anyways....
Much to do. Much to think and feel. In the meantime, I'll go try and find some distraction :o) The hubs has his in the bubble bath!
Knowing that you are not 'not okay' and that you are not in trouble is a HUGE positive.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I suspect if you were totally gung ho about the move it would be symptomatic of trouble ahead. It is a big move. A scary move. And mixed feelings are totally appropriate. Or so I think from my practised balanced on the fence position.
Take care. And hugs.
Thank you, that makes a lot of sense to me and "balanced" sounds like a good word to keep in mind!
DeleteI think it is normal to have mixed feelings when a major life change is happening, especially since we are in a pandemic...Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI think you and the Hubs sound very typical with a big move. There's so much to consider and it's all still an unknown. I don't know if you've found any, but there are a lot of good moving guides out there that help organize you. I find having concrete advice and a plan always helps me in these kinds of situations.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. You're doing great!