Disgust

(Written on Thursday)

Remember how my family friend touched my ass at a gathering couple months back? Well my mother invited me to those family friend's home this week (uh, quarantine. hello?). She texted. I texted back Can I call? and I told her straight up why I didn't want to go.

She was not phased. Not one bit.

It wasn't news.

The phone call went on to other topics but toward the end I brought the reason for the call back.

"So I told you what happened and you don't seem to be surprised. Did you know or is this a known quantity?"

"Known quantity. He even creeps me out sometimes and I try to sit away from him when I can," she told me matter-of-factly.

I told her things might get more serious if it happens again because the hubbo told me to tell him so he can say something and encouraged me to say something at the moment if I can.

Instead of going to their house we planned at day at my mother's. Totally against quarantine. I know. She and the hubster agree that "checking in on family" suits the rules and I go along with it when my anxiety doesn't run me into the ground (I used to be unable to leave the house for fear of being pulled over and questioned about my grocery list during this stay at home order).

Honestly, I have more to say about that but I feel ashamed. The words compromise and contradiction run hot in my mind...

These tumultuous and confusing times. But I guess someone at every time has uttered such words?

-Sigh-