Supposed to be under 4.500. Others not too bad though.
Still. Pain in my ass and not helping my cause.
Today rough again. Trying coping techniques. Lots of deep breathing.
Ughhhhh. Arghhhh. Waahhhhhy?
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
First Full Day Out
Grade: C
Today was rough. My body aches all over. I took a nap even though I didn't want to give into my inclination to sleep my way to safety, but hey, it got me there.
The thoughts of hurting myself and baby came back today. I was scared, I was disappointed, I told myself "Those are bad thoughts" over and over but ended up sitting in the baby's room staring into the abyss. Eventually I roused myself and took Baby Bananaface to Grandma (hub's mom) and I went to the bedroom and laid down for a couple hours or three...
There is still a ways to go as far as me making it through a day on my own. A long ways. I have to get used to feeding the baby again, reading his moods and needs, and feeding myself. Today I had regular meals thanks to my mother-in-law but I am pretty sure on my own things would've been quite rough. Hell, they felt rough with help!
I did do some of my coping skills from the hospital, including weaving a bracelet or two (the first was cat-sized) and using reading to distract myself as well as PBS documentary on the Roosevelts (very good). I managed to talk to the hubs about what was going on with me which isn't always the case and felt good.
Baby is growing up so fast. He started sitting up on his own the last couple days. Crazy! I feel like he just figured out flipping over!
And how I feel today in baby picture form:
One hour at a time. ND tomorrow for thyroid results. Psychiatrist Thursday. Go, go, go.
Today was rough. My body aches all over. I took a nap even though I didn't want to give into my inclination to sleep my way to safety, but hey, it got me there.
The thoughts of hurting myself and baby came back today. I was scared, I was disappointed, I told myself "Those are bad thoughts" over and over but ended up sitting in the baby's room staring into the abyss. Eventually I roused myself and took Baby Bananaface to Grandma (hub's mom) and I went to the bedroom and laid down for a couple hours or three...
There is still a ways to go as far as me making it through a day on my own. A long ways. I have to get used to feeding the baby again, reading his moods and needs, and feeding myself. Today I had regular meals thanks to my mother-in-law but I am pretty sure on my own things would've been quite rough. Hell, they felt rough with help!
I did do some of my coping skills from the hospital, including weaving a bracelet or two (the first was cat-sized) and using reading to distract myself as well as PBS documentary on the Roosevelts (very good). I managed to talk to the hubs about what was going on with me which isn't always the case and felt good.
 |
| MIL got me a coloring book too, did that yesterday and it was quite helpful :) |
Baby is growing up so fast. He started sitting up on his own the last couple days. Crazy! I feel like he just figured out flipping over!
And how I feel today in baby picture form:
One hour at a time. ND tomorrow for thyroid results. Psychiatrist Thursday. Go, go, go.
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