Today was my dad's birthday, although we celebrated on Sunday with me, the fiance, Mom, Dad, the sis, cuz, and the sis's boyfriend. We pulled a great surprise over on Dad-he had no idea it was a sneak-party OR that we had lunch prepared (meatloaf-one of his favs) OR that we had cake OR presents AND we were still going to the established baseball game that afternoon!
It went over really well and Dad seemed really pleased. He loved the shadow box display for his medals that I mentioned earlier, here's a pic:
It wasn't a milestone birthday age-wise, but it was considering this time last year he had a major heart attack. Not only did he survive (against odds) he recovered and surpassed expectations to go ahead and win national championships in tennis.
Today was also good for other reasons.
I had a wonderful time at yoga. I have being going to the center for classes long enough to start coming out of my shell and really enjoy seeing familiar faces. After class today I went ahead and became a "member" of the center which means I get discounts on classes, massages, and such. I immediately took advantage of my membership to get a discounted rate for tai chi class!
My mom and her friends have recommended tai chi to me since I like yoga but also because it's supposed to be the best exercise for those with major depression. The class runs from next week until October 26th and is a beginner's course. I'm a little anxious since tai chi involves mastering movements not stationary poses like yoga and I have a history of clumsiness :o/
I am excited to be a member at the center and get discounts, I think it will help me get to classes more often instead of holding back to save dough.
Yoga has been a wonderful tool and refuge while working through my depression. I cannot sing enough praises for yoga! In fact, my practice has branched out into further curiosity and I picked up this book, "Yoga and the Quest for True Self" by Stephen Cope.
I haven't made it too far in the book but I've very much enjoyed the third that I have read so far. Not only am I learning more about yogic philosophy, Cope pulls readers in with his personal story of self discovery through yoga as well as providing insight as a "westernized" psychologist.
Lately I've been struggled with waves of hard thinking and disappointment with the world around me. Not in Nature, I always love Nature and the endless wonders I find in Her, but in man's convoluted society and sense of humanity.
Even with my newly prescribed, upped dose of generic Paxil, I cannot calm my mind or stop myself from contemplating that which lies around me. And let's face it, a lot of what lies around us can be purty durn depressing if not downright sickening.
Sometimes I find myself chastising and criticizing myself for those thoughts, repeating the words of my teenage friend's, "Hannah, you think too much!" More often I find myself swamped by pain, disappointment, and angst-unable to find hope for the world or a way to make a different.
After a talk with the fiance last night I'm finding myself at the conclusion that A) I don't think too much, B) I cannot and will not ever fix everything, and C) Because I do think enough to recognize and realize the suffering around me I cannot sit idly by and do nothing.
What I plan to do exactly is yet to be determined.
For now, I plan to continue on my path toward volunteer work at PAWS with my kitty skills class this Thursday and also sign up to volunteer at local libraries. We'll take things from there!
Purring kitties and clean bookshelves might do the world at least a little bit of good after all, right?
