Summer

 Summer so far has gone pretty well but it has cruised by and I'm sad to see my free days coming to an end. 

I've made headway in my screenplay and written over a hundred pages. I'm following the teachings of a screenwriter named Syd Fields and did an exercise with notecards to outline my screenplay-well, I thought I would have more than enough to write but I've fallen short! I know what I need to do-more character development and transitional scenes-but I've hit a bit of a wall. He says most screenplays need to fall around 120 pages long, so I've got a bit to work in. 

Also, I survived a trip to Washington state to visit my family WITHOUT the hubster! There was a little bit of drama with my sister. Apparently my mother offended her somehow (I think my sister's husband was chastising my nephew harshly and my mom stormed off and it offended Emma) and then it got spun around onto me. She was screaming at the top of her lungs "IT'S NOT ALWAYS ALL ABOUT HER!" at my back while I sheltered BB. He didn't seem phased but it was scary. The rest of the family didn't seem phased either. At least, I don't think her children cried and I didn't hear them. I'll admit I wasn't making eye contact or looking around the room at the time though. I just know after she and her family had left everyone was quiet and then continued on with what they were doing as if nothing had happened. I have no idea how often she loses it like that. 

My sister texted me the next morning to apologize and claimed that she gets "fed up being on the backburner." When I told my friend the story and talked about how co-dependent my sister and my mother on, she said "sounds like she's on ALL the burners" and that made us laugh. I think that my family is still on eggshells around me, which is realistic considering how triggering and stressful they can be for me. I had no idea that my sister felt so.... unseen though. I guess that's a nice way to put it.

Bit of drama with the hubster's family while I was gone. Very unpleasant and saddening. He and his brother went on a hiking trip to one of the peaks here in Utah. Well, they got back a day early and decided to go downtown and hit some bars. We know that his brother has a "drinking problem" and we thought it was just that he likes alcohol and can't stop himself. The hubs is mindful to pace their drinking when they're together but it can be hard to control his brother's drinking. 

What we didn't know is that his brother's drinking has a very dark side. At some point during their night out, his brother flipped a switch and became violent. He struck the hubs across the cheek and kicked him in the stomach. He was hauled off my SLC cops and told to go to a hotel to sober up away from the hubs. Well, he didn't. He Ubered to our house and demanded his way in. The hubs should've called the cops then but he didn't want a disturbance in the neighborhood. So, his brother got in the house. He continued to be violent, throwing a large floor fan and a bed at the hubs. Breaking his glasses and threatening to destroy our TV as well.

While the bed was protecting him (after it had been launched across the room) the hubster called 911 for the second time and 3-4 cops showed up to haul his brother off again. It was heartbreaking to hear since the hubs and his brother have just started becoming closer these past few years and especially since we've moved to Utah and been closer to him. The hubs assures me though that he isn't wrecked over it because he and his brother have been estranged for 2/3 of his life and his brother has made some awful choices in the past that made this mess not quite as shocking (still very shocking). 

I said that I wished I had been home for it and the hubs said that he was glad I wasn't. It was so violent and BB and I would've just complicated things and made him distracted.

We are not sure what will happen. I mean, we know that he has charges against him and there will be a plea bargain or a trial sometime in the next year. We don't know if we'll get an apology or ever hear from his brother again but there is a no contact order right now with the legal stuff pending.

The hubster's parents are here right now and it's been interesting hearing their stories of his brothers from years past and discussing the whole mess with them. They are shocked and saddened as well, but like I said, his brother has had a history of some pretty bad choices so it's not unbelievable. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful summer-or winter, depending on where ya be! I'm nervous about starting up again but trying to limit my worrying to daily problems, not future endeavors.  I know that I'll be worrying enough once school starts! 

Wait, what?

 So my sister called via FaceTime last night. Apparently she had had dinner with our mother and had to tell me some stuff that they talked about.

There is a long-standing feud between my sister and an old family friend named Sue. She and  my mother used to be good friends until something went down with my sister. So my sister tells me last night that when she and Sue's daughter were going to the same college, my sister had a panic attack. Apparently Sue took that as my sister being suicidal and told "everyone" so that when my sister came back to work in our home town everything "thought I was crazy." 

First, I have multiple editions of this story and it seems to change a little bit each time. So I'm confused about that. Second, I had never heard this version before so it grabbed my attention.

She went on to say that she wanted to clear the air with Sue and talk about it but Sue became... aggressive? She told me that Sue said that my sister was a "manipulative bitch" and that she told my sister that she was "going to end up crazy and useless like your sister."

Mind you, this is the Sue that I lived with when I met my husband. This is the Sue that asked to see me before we left for Utah. This is the Sue that attended our private wedding ceremony. It's so confusing...

The hubs has no qualms about saying that my sister is simply lying or making things up to add to the truth.

She went on about something between the hubs and I and my mother. The story went that when my sister got pregnant right after BB was born that she became a trigger for me. That part is right. I just didn't know that she was so aware of it. 

There was a family event that she said she wasn't going to but I was. Apparently at the last minute she changed her mind and we weren't told. According to the story it triggered me and after the event we supposedly sent a horrible email to my mother about how she didn't warn us and we didn't want her in our lives anymore and didn't want her around BB.

We searched both our emails and could find no such message.

Once again, the hubs thinks she's making things up. That she's jealous right now or not feeling well and wanting to make me feel bad so she's making things up.

I can't conceive of it. Who would do such a thing? How could that be? He is so confident though.

What gets me is that she said, "I'm only telling you this now because you're super stable."

Why tell me at all if there aren't ulterior motives? What is her motive? Is this a symptom of our Freudian culture of digging things up and talking them to death? It definitely goes against my DBT training of acceptance and nonjudgment and letting go. Although addressing it directly with DBT skills is possible.

The hubs is confident we will simply forget about this and move on. Things with my mother are good (or so we thought) and there is no reason to upset the apple cart. 

But it's frustrating and bewildering. With my memory.... it complicates things. I can't remember my sister at her worst. I know I've written here extensively about it though. I can't imagine why she would do this.

Anyways. End of school is getting utterly boring. I finalized grades so I have nothing to do. My seniors have events and graduation next week so I'll be sitting around all day doing nothing except maybe watching a few kids during study hall. I have brought in sudoku, word searches, and a good book to combat the boredom but it's hard filling an ENTIRE DAY like I had to do Friday.

Weather her is still a bit volatile but warming up and the garden is doing well. I hope things will GROW and look full but it takes time. Thankfully most of our plants are perennials and we should get to see them expand over time. Well, that depends on how long we're here... the hubs wants to save up and get a house next spring but I'm not so motivated. I like it here. If we can't buy this house I'd be unwilling to move outside our neighborhood. Most of the houses are old and need fixing in some ways, so wouldn't we want to save up a down payment and some fixin' money?

So this turned out longer than I expected and hopefully makes sense. I'm willing to answer any questions!

Love and hugs. :o)