Headlines in my Headspace

In the news headlines today I saw that Catherine Zeta-Jones is being treated for bipolar disorder. I don't particularly care about her specifically, but I was interested in the fact that the media has been portraying the revelation with a positive spin-as a source of empowerment and a path to destroying stigmas.

What I find especially sad is that this stigma depression and other mental diseases hold empowers the diseases themselves. People are afraid to speak openly about their struggles, afraid to seek treatment, afraid to isolate themselves further by being distinguished as "one with a disease" and it only strengthens the disease. We may never live in a world free of mental disease, but we can pursue a healthier mankind. In reality, we all get sick from time to time-and we treat with it. In more relevant reality, many of us have struggled with mental disease-and we treat it. 

I am a victim of this stigma. I've been marked. I've identified myself as different from what society says I should be, and I've become ashamed. I try to hide what shames me, but it has to be dug out and extracted to be treated. It is scary as hell voicing our scariest thoughts. I haven't cut myself for over five years, but the thought still occurs to me-my mind's twisted tool for coping with life. Alcoholics turn to booze, cutters to the blade. We never lose our vices, but we learn to live and overcome our tendencies. If I bite my tongue when those urges arise I find myself isolated, battling shame and fear that feeds my urges and drives me to a depressive spiral. I have to resist years of social programming coding me to respond with STIGMA in order to open my mouth and shed light on my demons-but we can retrain our minds.

No one wants to embody this stigma, but the beautiful thing is-only we have the power to make such things our reality. I can live a stigma or I can live the life that I want. I'm frustrated by the fact that validation is sought via hollow fame-it is so distant and impersonal. Just because Catherine Zeta-Jones is bipolar doesn't immediately validate you or make a stigma go away, it simply opens up opportunity for discussion. Everyone has to make a decision when faced with a stigma-feed or starve. I can feel shame and pain about who and what I am, or I can accept it. I can succumb to my weaknesses or I can live around them. I can feed the stigma, or I can starve it out.

 There are so many examples of overcoming adversity (two-legged dogs learning to walk upright, double-amputees running marathons, infertile women giving birth, or blind people walking across the street-sighted people can't manage that without hurting themselves sometimes!) I can choose to surround myself with these positive influences and flourish.Success and validation doesn't come from grandiose victories, it comes from your own conscience, your own heart. Just as our mental diseases and flaws and hang-ups come from within, so does our salvation and true success. Starve the stigma, pursue your victory, and walk on.

As for the cats: Iroh needs a bath. All the spittle from Millie gnashing on his back is starting to stink and he just doesn't clean himself enough period. Millie is quiet for the moment, but may reconvene the barrage on my ankles again soon.