Siblings

I mentioned a few posts back that by brother moved to Pennsylvania this past fall to play tennis for a college over there. My sister is living at home and going to school and working. I'm living a couple hours away from our hometown with the fiance and not working (but watching A LOT of The Golden Girls).

Anywho, as much as I have been watching my favorite TV show I have been thinkin' about my sibs and how glad I am that even though everyone is getting older and starting to move toward our individual adult lives we're still pretty close and keep in touch.

I think part of the reason for my contemplating our sibling relationships is my getting married next year. It makes me feel old. Or at least mature, and it makes me think about all three of us becoming adults *yikes!*.


While I don't have my siblings in the bridal party (which is restricted to a MOH and BM only), thinking forward to my wedding makes me think about years down the road when I'll look back on my wedding day and remember who was there. It makes me think of all the times I've shared with my sibs and all the adventures yet to be shared together-probably more serious stuff than salting slugs together like when we were younger.

I'm glad that we're friends. I'm glad that we can talk to each other and ask each other for help and depend on each other. Yeah, we have our fights and we sure do know how to piss each other off, but for the most part we're good siblings to each other.

What makes me sad is that every time I think about myself and my siblings, I think about my parents and their siblings and how they aren't that close anymore.

Part of their distance probably has to do with growing up in different times but part of it is probably plain ole mileage. They all live in the same state at least, but over the years family get togethers have become less and less frequent, especially since Grandma died on my dad's side and my aunt and uncle on my mom's side have stopped talking to each other.

It's sad to think that my parents don't have their siblings there for them as much anymore but it's also sad to think about how distant me and my siblings have become from our aunts and uncles as well. All that family tension and distance makes seeing our relatives stressful and awkward. I don't want my children and nieces and nephews to have that stress and not have the resources that extended family provides.

Okay, I can't say that I've experienced a large, really tight-knit extended family for myself but I've gotten a taste.

Back in the day me and my siblings would go for routine visits to aunts and uncles and have big Thanksgivings and Christmas dinners and that meant cultivating meaningful relationships. Nowadays it isn't a natural part of our family life to see extended family and when we do there is lots of baggage and things unspoken that cause tension. Most people don't like to hash out the awkward stuff-hell, I don't have it in me most of the time!

I know I'm not the only one with this story and I know that hiccups and tension are a natural part of family relations-you can't have that many people in a room and expect everyone to get along! I just hope my children and their cousins will experience a happier family dynamic. Luckily, I know that it's important to my siblings just as it is for me.

Only the years will tell what the family will look like with this next generation. I know my sibs will make a good aunt and a good uncle, we just have to prioritize the time for them to have that chance!