Dreary

I feel about as shitty as the weather. Or as shitty as the weather would seem to an out-of-towner that is...

Today was rough but the truth of it is nearly anything could have broken me at nearly anytime yesterday, last week, today, or tomorrow. I've been tiptoeing across an ax blade for weeks.

Since ornament season hit I've been pushing myself a little harder than I should. Going from a 0-hour work week to 40+ work week was a big shift and has hit me hard, especially since I wasn't in a healthy place before the holidays.

I didn't realize how numbed out I've been until a little pressure was applied and all the weak spots I've painted over have collapsed in again. The hubby wanted to cancel my non-insurance medical provider and switch me to a local provider covered by Group Health but after some encouragement from my counselor I made an appointment with my well-liked ARNP last week.

We upped my meds back to 40 mg. The hubby says I've been reacting to the shift, but I can't tell if it's meds or just me. Either way, it feels.. depressing.

This year I haven't been feeling much Christmas cheer and I've yet to watch a Christmas flick, but I whipped up some sugar cookie dough tonight and the fufu Christmas sprinkles the hubster got me are helping get me there. Tomorrow or Friday I'll be able to bake 'em up and ice them, and hopefully I'll get to watch my fav, "Holiday Inn."