Transfer of Care

This morning my therapist called in sick for the 2nd or 3rd time since I started seeing him a few months back. I haven't been responsive to his care as it is and decided to request a new therapist. It makes me nervous. I know that I'll probably never see or him from him again but just the act of leaving makes me anxious. I don't want to offend or upset and yet I'm also excited for a new chance at clicking with someone. 

School has been digital since the week of Thanksgiving (once we hit our threshold for cases we go digital for 2 weeks) so tomorrow is our last digital day for this quarantine. It's been a good shift actually. Shorter class times are accepted and I sort of like the weird silence that comes with hosting a mass Zoom meeting. It feels a bit less awkward than the wall of silence I experience in my live classroom teaching.

The silence is deafening. I'm so concerned about my teacher observations and having administrator(s) see that I don't get my kids talking and can't propel a conversation in class. There are a couple kids in each class that will contribute but for the most part everyone sits and stares. I don't know if they just don't get it or just don't feel comfortable talking. Cold calling (just randomly choosing someone) works rarely. A lot of time I get the "I don't know" or "I have nothing to say." 

In more cheerful news I bought myself an advent calendar from The Body Shop and have been thoroughly enjoying it. I started it early and have had a nice bath bomb, hand lotion, and shea butter soap-a full size one at that! It's a pretty cool little thing that I might repeat in years to come. BB has a LEGO advent calendar that he opens and builds a little LEGO creation every morning. He's loving it too. The hubs... doesn't have anything. But he did eat a bunch of cheeseball last night. :P

I freaked out Monday about my health and feeling like I'm not sleeping well. It's not good and I'm nervous about my mood slipping. I also haven't been working out regularly (read: at all) and that affects my sleep and my mood as well. It's the time of year that usually proves challenging for me and it's the first year I have felt relatively stable for as long as I have. SO if I have a shot at getting through unharmed this is it. 

One day at a time.